It Was Your Heart On The Line
by AG Bloom
Summary: Roxas looses his temper one day which causes him to be sent to a reform school. Now Roxas' new goal is to be straight, but it's kinda hard when he has a mysterious hot red-head flirting with him. .:RATED M 4 language:.  Title - Mumford & Sons lyric
1. How It Started

***sigh* I'm so glad I'm writing KH again...**

**Hi guys(: I know you haven't heard from me in awhile. Haha well this idea of a reform KH came to me while I was cleaning the shower a couple of weeks ago. I've thought about this for awhile now, but I never got to writing it. Uhmm, towards the ending I got lazily and didn't edit it sooo there might be some errors :) No one's perfect. So I hope you guys like this :P It took me a week to write this, so hopefully I get Ch. 2 finished this weekend? *fingers crossed***

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, or places mention here. They all belong to Square Enix. Because they're bosses like that (: **

**I also like Reviews ^o^ So feel free to leave some thoughts! **

**Enjoy yo!**

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><p>I had only one expression on my face, and that was anger. I was pissed as hell, and I wasn't thinking straight. It was as if I was high on my own anger, and my instincts just took control of me. From the crowd I heard Sora yelling at me, probably trying to make his way through to stop me. Hundreds of eyes followed me and Hayner, as I was dragging him to the patio. My mind was trying to think, but I didn't let it. Hayner was kicking and screaming, begging me to let him go, that he was sorry, and that <em>he<em> made him do it. It didn't help his case at all, because once I was done with him, _he _was next. My fist clenched his shirt, trying to hold back until I reached the patio. I just didn't understand how many people could take me for someone who doesn't have any feelings. I'm a person just like everyone else.

I was shocked at the fact that no one stopped me. Instead they were filming everything happening. I guess that's society today now today.

It pleased me to hear Hayner yelling at me, saying his "sorry" 's , and "I love you" 's. It was all cute, but now I just didn't give a flying fuck.

No, I couldn't care less. All I knew was that I was about to drop Hayner to the concrete floor that stood 10 feet from the cafeteria patio.

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><p>It started as any other day. I woke up my brother Sora, got dressed and headed down stairs. My mother was waiting down the stairs to hand me my backpack and things. I smiled at her, grabbed said things, and walked over to my father, who was also smiling down at his son. I turned to the living room and saw my baby brother of 8 months Ventus cooling at me, and shaking his rattle. Sora soon came down, smiling big as ever, and went over to pick up Ventus from the cradle and spun him around. My mother laughed a very robotic laugh, and went to pick up baby Ventus to put him back in his cradle. My father smiled at me, pouring his daily coffee as he leaned on the counter reading his newspaper. My mother walked over to us, her heels clicking on the wooden floor, in her polka dotted apron, with both our breakfasts in her hands. She politely told us to "Eat up!" in her most American style voice like any other mother would say.<p>

Yeah, we're a pretty picture perfect family right? All happy and smiles, nothing bothering us.

Wrong.

My brother and Sora and I have secret identities. Him being the openly gay who wears only the latest fashion in any of the millions of fashion magazines he reads. He was head over heels for a guy named Riku, which happened to be one of my best friends until he got kicked out of school for smoking weed in the boys' restroom. I on the other hand am a total closed gay, who dresses in black and listens to the only darkest music there is. I currently am dating the most popluar sophomore, Hayner, who is one of Sora's friends. Weird how that worked out huh?

Despite our gayness, Sora and I are very close. I guess you can say that I have three identities because I act like another person around my brother, but let's keep that secret alright?

Sora and I waved to our father as he drove off to work. We kept waving until we saw the car turn the corner. I gave a sigh, and walked back into the house, taking off my stupid blue cotton vest and bow tie and tucked out my Rise Against concert t-shirt. Sora began to go through his back pack and take out a stylish cap he bought, and rolled up his pants to reveal checkered socks and pulled on his Oxfords.

"You boys are going to get caught one of these days." My mother spoke, taking off her apron and hanging on a hook.

Both Sora and I looked up at our mom and gave her a stare. She was in this as bad as we were.

Our mom knew that both of us were gay and that we had another identity at school. Besides, she's the only one that goes to our parent–teacher conferences at school. She knew ever since she caught Sora and I looking at guy celebrities photos on the internet. She cried a bit, but then felt that she was responsible that we had to hide who we really. So then she decided that once we're ready, we both can tell our father about our true colors, but until then, we were allowed to be whoever we wanted to be at the house– as long as my mother was home.

"Mom, don't even worry about it. We'll tell him soon." I spoke as I went to pull out an eyeliner pencil walking over to the living room mirror.

"Well I don't think I'll be telling him anytime soon." Sora stated as he kept his cotton vest on and began adding his accessories.

My mother walked over to me and snatched the pencil from my hands. "I approve of anything else, but make-up." I glared at her, but then she just kissed my forehead, which made me smile, and walked back to the kitchen.

I respected my mom so much. I was glad that she could read us so easily, and that we could be ourselves at home. But I knew that it broke her heart to make her lie to my father every day until we find a way to tell him about ourselves. It bothered me too, but not enough to go and tell my dad about me.

"Come 'on boys, you are going to be late for school."

Our mom drove us to school and told us that she would pick us up once school got out as always. And with our departure, we waved to her as she drove off. I turned to walk into the school, and Sora stayed behind to talk to his friends that hung out in the front of the school. Yeah we're brothers and all, but we have a reputation to uphold. Sora's the fashion police with his fashion crazed friends, and I'm the school bad boy because once Riku left, the position went to me. It's a title that I should be honored to have because people respect me when I walk down the hallway. I give them just a glance, and they instantly turn their gaze elsewhere.

Damn it felt good to have this power. And I'm not even a senior.

I didn't have time to go to my locker because the bell rang. I had first period P.E with all the underclassmen, Hayner being one of them. To how I am attracted to him, I don't know. I guess I just have a things for cute little boys who decide to show off some shoulder one day.

And boy was Hayner showing shoulder.

I walked straight back to the end of the locker room. No one dared to go the back of the locker rooms, because: one, it is disgusting as hell and no one cleans it, and two, I only have a locker back there and I like my privacy. But luckily for Hayner, he was stuck with me as a locker buddy. The day he took his shirt off, he was asking to be ravished that day. Damn was he asking for it. I knew that he purposely took his shirt off in the slowest motion ever. Luck for him I never pack towels for after when I shower. We hit it off very quickly after that. Every time I would still a kiss, and he would just giggle, which drove me crazy.

But for some reason he wasn't there for our daily morning make-out session. This worried me a bit, because he usually is here before I am. Nevertheless, I quickly got dressed and headed towards the gym.

I walked very impatiently to the gym, because I like my morning kisses. I hate when my schedule is interrupted. There, sitting on the stands, was Hayner, cute as ever with a pout on his face. He spotted me, and his face went pale white. This was strange because usually he'll try to hide his humongous grin. As I walked towards him, he didn't dare look me in the eye. I was now starting to be worried.

"Hey cutie." I usually greeted him.

His head was down, not facing me.

"Why didn't you dress today?" I asked, holding back my worried emotions.

Hayner looked up to the side, as if something else caught his eye. "Not feeling good."

I arched a brow. "Oh yeah? Whatcha got?"

Hayner sighed rather annoyingly and got up to go walk to the other end of the stands. Oh what the hell? This was not my cute little Hayner I see every morning. This was someone who looked like he was tired of me. And that cannot be possible because he was the one who said that he loved me just one week ago. How can you say that you love someone, and act like this the week after? Of course, after he said this, I drove both of us to the edge, hoping to avoid my answer back to him.

I ran over to stand in front of him. This time, I tried a tone that I only use with Sora and my mother, no one else had never heard before, not even him. "Hayner please, what's wrong?"

Hayner looked straight up at me, his big hazel eyes staring right into my blue ones. It took him almost a minute to bring his head back down, and walk past me, bumping his shoulder into mine.

Whoa. Whoa. There was no need for that. I'm the only who can do such a thing.

My school identity kicked in, and I grabbed Hayner by his shoulder and shoved him back towards me, so that I was seeing his face. I was taller than him by like 5 inches, so I looked down at him. "What the hell is eating you up, huh?"

Hayner closed his eyes, and looked away. He hated when I was like this to him, but I had to be. I wanted to know what was eating my munchkin. It hurt me to see him tremble, because usually he just lingers in my arms. But right now, it looked like I was bulling him like I do to any other freshman.

"Hey!" a voice called from the distance. "You're making a scene Roxy."

The voice was familiar, because I hung out with the voice. I despised that voice because he was flirting with Hayner before me. But Hayner just happen to choose me. He made it a point that he was going to take my title away from me. The voice came nearer and was standing to my right.

"Whatcha you got there Roxas?" Seifer asked, looking only at Hayner, which pissed me off.

"Nothing," I smiled at Hayner. "Just talking to this little cutie about something."

Seifer never took his gaze off of Hayner. "Well I think you should be finished right about now, no?"

"Actually," I began, but I was interrupted by Hayner speaking.

"We just finished."

I gave Hayner a death look. Why was he even speaking? He is already in enough trouble as it is. And what makes him think that I would let him talk to Seifer? Something looked very suspicious the way Seifer looked at Hayner, as if someone tickled his fancy this morning, something that I never got this morning. God, I'm such a cranky bitch without my sweet morning boy kisses.

"Come Hayner, I need to have a chat with you." Seifer began to take Hayner's shoulder, but the minute he touched the guy my instinct kicked in and I pulled Hayner closer to me.

"Hayner we have to go check in with the coach."

Seifer and I never broke eye contact.

Hayner then shrugged me off his shoulder and walked over towards Seifer. "I already checked in."

And then like that, they walked off.

I looked for them the rest of the period, but I did not see either one of them, and that began to piss me off. I tried not to let bother me the rest of the day, but damn I did not trust Seifer. He's been after me since Riku left, and I can't believe I didn't see this coming. I shouldn't be worked up about this, but I am. I just care too much for Hayner. I mean, I haven't even gotten in his pants yet, and I still care about the guy. I may look like a bad boy on the outside, but in the inside I'm a helpless fucking romantic. And damn was I helplessly caring for Hayner too much.

The rest of the day went by so fast. During lunch time, I looked around the cafeteria or Hayner, or Seifer. Neither of them decided to show their face in public today. I picked at my orange, and threw the pieces down on my tray.

"What's eating you kid?" Larxene, a chick who hangs out with the group and suddenly became my closest friend, asked with her mouth full of food.

I kept throwing my petals on the tray. "Hayner went with Seifer today during first, and I haven't seen them since."

Larxene scoffed, and threw her burger down on her plate. "Really? You're this depressed thing over some _freshman_?"

"Sophomore." I corrected.

Larxene adjusted herself, and leaned in to talk softly to me.

"He's nobody. You'll find somebody else. Obviously he already has."

I looked up from my orange and glared at her. "Don't say shit like that."

Larxene backed away and shrugged. "Just saying the truth Roxas. Deal with it."

"I wouldn't have to deal with it because it's not true."

"Roxas!" I heard Sora from across the cafeteria.

I stiffened up, and tried to act normal and continue peeling my orange.

"Roxas!" I heard his voice calling closer.

Larxene held her burger up, chewing. "That one fashionista-faggot is calling you."

"Shut up Larx, that's my brother."

Just then Sora landed right next to me, panting. "Roxas! I need to tell you something!"

I got closer to his face, giving him a death stare. "Didn't we go over the rules of how we should meet during school?"

"Yeah, yeah, in the back of the school where the dumpsters are. But this can't wait!"

I scoffed, and began attacking my orange once again. Damn this is so hard to eat, don't know why it is a food product.

"Why didn't you just text me? So we would avoid this meeting."

"It's about Hayner."

I squezed my orange in my hand, the juices dripping from my fingers. I quickly turned to Sora, and was expecting more. He took the note, and went on with his gossip.

"Well, Kairi texted me that Namine told her, that Yuki heard from Sophie that Leon told Cloud that he caught Hayner and Seifer macking in the downstairs boys restroom."

I didn't understand anything he said besides Hayner _macking_ on Seifer.

_Seifer._

So there was something wrong with him. He was over me. He went and got bewitched by Seifer. I couldn't believe that Hayner, would go after someone like Seifer, who probably just wants to get in his pants, then leave him for dead. I on the other hand will still be there for him. For some reason, I felt the need to look up to the entrance of the cafeteria, and just my luck there he was, with Seifer, acting as if nothing happened. Probably just finished a really hot session in the restroom. Those dirty whores.

Sora caught my gaze, and gasped. "Roxas, don't."

"Too late."

I waited until Seifer went back into the hall. I then shot up from my seat, catching Hayner right when he was about to get in line to buy food. I pulled him by the arm, having him shriek. Once he met my gaze, he became frozen, and fear was in his eyes. I bet right now it looked like I was bullying him. But I wouldn't do such a thing to my precious Hayner. Oh no, I would do something even worse.

"What's this I hear you and Seifer getting it on in the restroom down stairs? Wanna tell me that it isn't true?"

My voice was low, but even a low tone, Hayner still looked scared shitless. He winced as I tighten my grip on his arm.

"Roxas let go you're hurting me." Hayner whined.

"How about you answer my question and we'll see where it goes from there?"

Hayner looked at me, guilt in his eyes, and sadness in his face.

"Answer me!" I yelled in his face.

Just by this the whole cafeteria stood silent. I never took my eyes off of Hayner, and he did the same to me. I was glaring at him with legit ideas of murder on my face. Rumors go around the school that I beat up a kid every day, and it's true. Today I did not fulfill that acquirement today, and I feel bad not keeping that rumor upheld.

"Answer me Hayner." I said through my teeth, just about an inch away from his face.

Hayner's expression all of a sudden changed, and he just sighed, looking serious. He then did something that shocked the hell out of me; He pushed me. Like a full 5 feet away shove from him. I was so stunned at this I lost my balance and fell to the floor.

"I'm tired of being just your stupid boy toy! You make me sick!"

Just hearing the words broke my heart. But then I noticed we had caused a scene, and I knew that I was not going to be the victim in this. Not at all. There is no way you are going to make a fool out me, because in the end _you _are the one that is going to look ridiculous after.

"Oh yeah? That's not what you said to me last week."

Everyone in the lunch room gasped. Everyone knew I was gay, but no one knew that I was dating an underclassman. So of course this came as a shock to everyone that I would date such a human being, and that I do not have heart of charcoal, that indeed do have a soul and it was not sold to the devil.

"I honestly don't know what I was thinking." Hayner stated his nose in the air.

"Yeah you probably weren't thinking because you were so high on saying 'I Love You' so many times."

The crowd laughed a bit, and since I got the whole school to embarrass him, I figured that I would make him feel worse about cheating on me.

"What cheesy shit did you say? 'Oh Roxas, I'll never love another! Please Roxas, say you love me back! Oh Roxas you make my heart melt!'"

The whole cafeteria laughed, and a few took out there phones. I knew I wanted to get a good show out of this. Maybe having my heart broken wasn't so bad. I continued on, hoping that I'll make him crack after this.

"To why I ever considered going with someone like you amazes me every single day of my pathetic life."

Hayner angled his jaw sideways, and began to walk towards me. I could tell he was pissed off, but he looked so damn cute. We were now face to face, and it took everything I had in myself not to kiss him. I whispered softly, so that the crowd wouldn't hear.

"Say that you won't ever see him again, and I'll stop this whole thing."

Hayner smirked and kept looking at me. Someone from the crowd yelled "KISS ALREADY!" which was probably a teenage girl. I smiled at him, and tilted my head towards the side.

"Everyone is waiting." I cooed at him.

Hayner just kept smiling. He then leaned in forward, which made me think that he was going to actually kiss me. But this is Hayner we're talking about. The one who cheated on me with Seifer? I don't knwo what kind of shit he is going to pull. He put his mouth close to my ear, and whispered words that stunned me.

"I spent my _entire_ weekend with Seifer."

Just Seifer's name in that sentence made my blood boil. The smile was stripped from my face. He backed away, and continued on with his smile as we walked a few steps back from me. I looked at him, stunned. I can't believe he would do such a thing. I mean, I would do something like that, but when I'm in a relationship, I am dedicated to that person. I don't go off whoring around with other guys just because I got tired of the person I was having relationship with. That pissed me off.

Hayner began to walk away, but I quickly pulled him back. "Hey we're not finished."

"Yes we are finished Roxas!" Hayner yelled in my face. "Yes we are! We were finished the moment I called him over to my house. We were over the minute you said you didn't love me back. I'm _done_ with you."

"Yeah? Well I'm not done with you."

I slung my fist back and punch Hayner full on in the face, knocking him over. Hayner began to readjust his jaw. "Now I'm done with you. You piece of shit."

"The hell was that for?" Hayner yelled from the floor.

"For being such a prick. God damn it was hard to please you."

The audience we created in the lunch room grew bigger than before. People began cheering on for me to hit him again. Hayner got back up, and he grabbed my shoulders, forcing me onto the nearest wall.

Hayner began pushing me into the wall more than once. "It's your entire fault! You never paid attention to ANYTHING I had to say!"

"That's because you're annoying as FUCK!"

Hayner took my shoulders, threw me onto the floor, and began punching my face.

I was getting my ass kicked, by my own boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now.

I bet it looked hot.

I shoved my knee up into his ass, which got an odd reaction considering how Hayner nearly screamed so hard his whole faced turned red. He quickly got up, and sat on his side, trying not to yell as he did just seconds ago. My face went blank, and it took me just a second to process what he meant by "The whole weekend."

He had sex with him.

He had sex with _him._

He was fucking inserted by Seifer.

Thus, why I am about to throw Hayner off the patio.

"Roxas please, I love you." Hayner was now legit crying.

"I bet you said that when he was fucking you."

"Roxas! Don't do this!" Sora yelled as he walked onto the patio.

"Put him down you asshole!" Seifer yelled as he I heard him make his way over.

Hayner closed his eyes, and began pleading once more. "Roxas, if you ever loved me, you wouldn't do this."

I looked at Hayner, stunned at his choice of words. Was he trying to prove a point that I loved him? Or was he trying to mind fuck me to not throw him off the patio? I tried everything in me to not push him down, but I was controlled by something bigger than myself. Hayner was now leaning on the railing, me just holding him. My hand gripped his shirt tighter. I tried thinking some sense, but all this anger and build up from just minutes ago was taking over me. My hand then pushed Hayner violently into his chest, causing him to move, but never falling. Suddenly a huge impact hit me from the side, and I was pushed away from Hayner. Seifer had pushed me off him so hard my back hit the glass window, making a big crack. There were loud screams, and then I passed out.

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><p>So many things can happen in just a few weeks. Hell, so much shit goes down in just one hour: expulsion from school, hospital bills, a restraining order, a million hits on YouTube, and later on the cold shoulder from your father for over a week.<p>

No once talked for days. We didn't even talk about what happened. Sora was so depressed that he wore the same outfit twice. Mom was worried so much, she began making cookies so much that the house started to smell like one big damn cupcake. And as for Dad, he said nothing to me. I knew he was disappointed me, he didn't need to say it because I already knew. That's the worst kind of punishment.

Sora and I would meet late at night to talk about the events that happened. He would say that I looked like an animal, and that he was scared to come near me for a couple of days. I told him that I wasn't feeling right when I found out about Hayner and Seifer. Sora kept me updated on Hayner, because even though I tried to kill him, I still cared about the kid. He told me that Hayner was one lucky motherfucker. When he fell off the patio, he landed in the big ass hedges that separated from the teacher's lounge patio to the courtyard. Of course he got some broken bones, but he's fine. That brought relief to me, but I still couldn't believe that he did such a thing to me, or why would he do such a thing.

"You were another person when you were about to drop Hayner Roxas, and it scared the shit out me…." Sora stated as he sipped his hot coco.

I stared blankly down at the magazine that I was reading - which was Alternative Press, not the fashion shit Sora reads - "I don't what it was. It was like something had come over me, and I couldn't help but just let it flow."

Sora gave me a look that was worried. "Well, all I ask is that you never use that feeling towards me. I'll watch what I say in front of you from now on."

"It's not your fault Sora."

"Yeah, it kinda is. I should have told you once we got home."

I almost chocked on my chocolate. "Even worse. I would have gone over to Hayner's and walked in on them doing it." I shuddered at the thought.

Sora chuckled, and nudged me, making me nudge him back. We then began a tickle fight, until the sound of my father's voice scarred the living shit out of both of us.

"Roxas! Please come down here!"

The tone my father used was a tone he would used with a very bad client, or a rude person in the grocery store. I didn't hesitate to hurry my ass up downstairs. I came to find my father sitting on his chair, one leg up another, and my mother sitting beside him on the couch.

"Sit down son."

I did, with great caution as well. My eyes fluttered both towards my dad, and my mother. Should I tell him? Would this be the right time to tell your dad, oh hey! Guess what? I almost threw a boy down 10 feet he was my boyfriend and he cheated on me! Oh, and I'm also gay. Big smiley face.

"Why don't you tell me why you started the fight?"

I looked at my dad with a poker face I could ever give. "He called me a name."

My dad arched an eyebrow. I knew he didn't believe me, but hey, it was worth a try.

"Tell me something else."

I began to wonder in my mind for anything more convincing. Maybe if I…

I sighed, and went with "He told me that my girlfriend cheated on me with him."

"And what was he to you? You're best friend?"

No, my boy toy. Oh, I probably shouldn't tell him that…

"Yeah. Yeah he _was_ my best friend."

My father narrowed his eyes, and stared at me for the longest time. It was the most frighten thing I have ever seen in my life, and I was sure I was about to crap my pants right then and there. I didn't know what else to do, so I stared back at him. We stayed like this for a complete minute, and then my mother broke the silence by attempting to cheer up the mood.

"Okay boys! Who wants dinner?"

"I'm not hungry." My father stated.

"I'll be there in a minute –"

But my father interrupted me. "You're not leaving until we finish this."

"But Harold –"

"Go start the food honey."

And my only source of hope was gone. My father continued to give his stare of death, something I picked up from him. Now that it was being used against me, I have an idea of how terrified the kids I bully are.

"While you in the hospital, I got a call from your principal, explaining what witness saw."

I tensed. Here it comes.

"Most of them said it was a fight, and that the other boy was breaking up with you. Is that what kids call it now? When they are breaking off a friendship?"

I forgot how to breathe. What? No. It couldn't be that easy. He thinks that Hayner and I were breaking it off as friends? I just- wow. I couldn't believe it. The right thing to do is to tell him that we kids do not say that phrase to separate a friendship. I should tell him the truth.

"Yeah, dad. That's what we call it."

Meh, maybe later after this thing dies down.

He brought his hand to his mouth, thinking intently while looking at me again. It was about this way for a few more seconds, until he got up and walked over towards me, taking his hand out.

"Alright son. I believe you."

I stared at his hand as if it was a foreign object that I didn't know how to use. Just like that? He was about to let me go, and he would never know that the fight was over that my boyfriend slept with another man? This was it? Every inch in my stomach turned, and I knew that deep down, this was not right. It didn't feel right leaving him like this, knowing that it was about a girl. I wanted to let him know that it was about a _guy_ that I was almost falling in love with, who broke my heart. I wanted him to hold me like he would when I was little, and tell me that there are more fish in the sea or some shitty metaphor like that. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, and that he was a jerk. I wanted him to tell me that he loved me, no matter what I am.

"I'm not being honest with you."

My father looked at me, confused. His hand was still out, and I had a feeling that it wouldn't be out for much longer.

"You need to sit down. I'm going to tell you something."

My father gazed down at me, put his hand down, and walked over to his chair once more, sitting down gracefully and calmly.

I began to shake so much. My voice felt like it was dry, my hands not keeping still. I took in a deep breath and began to control my breathing as much as I could. It's now or never Roxas, just get it over with it.

"The reason – why I got into a fight with Hayner was not because he slept with my girlfriend."

My dad tilted his head a bit. I knew he was confused, but he continued to look at me, and waited.

"Dad I don't have a girlfriend." I simply stated. "Hayner isn't my best friend. He's –"

I paused after this. I just needed to say it. Through the corner of my eye I saw my mother on the kitchen counter, eyes puffy, and face red. She knew I was about to tell him, and that I was not turning back on it.

"Hayner was my boyfriend, dad."

My father tensed, and didn't move. He was sitting still gracefully on the chair. His face was expressionless, and it looked like all the color on his skin turned white. I felt tears coming to my eyes, and I tried to hold everything I could back. But this was such an intense moment, and the air suddenly became thick with such tension. My dad moved only to wipe his face, and he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.

"Dad, did you hear me?" My words were broken and uneven. It became harder to breathe. Hell, I forgot how to breathe after I made my confession. "Dad?"

My dad got up, and walked away from the chair. He was just pacing the small living room. Suddenly he went up to me, his face with color again. He was inches away from my face, and I tensed once I saw the anger in his eyes.

"You're confused. Isn't that what you call your friends nowadays anyways?"

I stared at him, appalled. I slowly shook my head at him, trying to understand why he was acting confused when I confessed to him just a minute ago. "No, dad. I was dating him. Like any other girl would."

My dad suddenly smacked my arm so hard I flinched and jumped at least a good one foot in the air.

"So you call yourself a girl now, just because you think you like guys? Huh?" His voice grew louder and louder to each word he spoke.

"I don't think dad! I know!"

His hand slapped across my face, leaving me to realize the impact a few second later.

"Do you know now?"

My hand went up to space on my cheek in which I was slapped. I slowly looked up to my dad, confused as to why he was so mad.

"Dad…"

He walked over to where my mother was, and began whispering her something I could barely make out. Suddenly my father's tone grew louder, and began yelling at her.

"Did you know about this!" He yelled in her face. What stopped my heart was when my father reached over to my mom and grabbed her hair, pulling her down almost to the burning stove.

My instincts kicked in again, like how they did with Hayner. I raced over to my father, jumped on him and pulled him down. He yelled in frustration, and began hitting my face. I straddled him and tried to pin down his arms, but they were moving too much for me to do so. My mother called out to me stop, but there wasn't anything stopping me. He dares touch my mom over something that was not involving her? No way would I ever let that happen.

"Get off me you FAGGOT!"

And I instantly pulled away, getting off my dad, and backing away. Not once have I been called that, and I couldn't believe that the first time I heard it was from my own father.

"What –" I couldn't even process my words because tears were coming down my face, and I forgot how to breathe. "Why did you –"

"Harold honey… Please." My mother walked over to my dad that was still on the floor, his arm above his eyes, controlling his breathing. "He's your son."

My father quickly got up and looked at my mother in the face very closely.

"He's no son of mine."

He then went quickly to the phone and began dialing a number. I completely lost it and fell to the floor.

_He's no son of mine._

I'm not his son. Because I'm different. Because I like guys. Because I have two identities. Because I don't know who the hell I am.

I'm not his son.

And I was staring to believe it.

"Harold who are you calling?"

"Mrs. Chu. She sent her son off to some boarding school because she found out about her son having –" My father turned his wicked gaze towards me, and looked me up and down as if I was some stranger standing in his house. "A condition."

A condition.

A fucking condition.

Like I was some sort of disease.

"Dad –" I began, but was cut off by him.

"Don't you dare speak in this house until we fix you."

Until I am fixed. So I was a disease.

I swallowed hard. Tears were even worse than before. I couldn't handle anything anymore, so I ran upstairs. I couldn't take the energy of the room anymore.

"And don't you DARE talk to your brother!"

I slammed the door. I sobbed harder than I have ever before. My knees weakened and I fell to the floor, sliding slowly. I curled into a ball and just cried. Cried because my own dad attacked my mom for being who I am. Cried because my father called me a faggot.

Cried because now I was starting to think that what I am is disease. Being gay is a disease, and I needed to be fixed.

"Roxas?"

I looked up, and from the corner of my bed I saw Sora's head, popping up from the corner. His blue eyes gazing down at me, and I felt sadness in them. I quickly sat up, and tried to give him the most convincing smile I ever gave.

"It's gonna be okay little bro."

Sora continued to look at me, his lip quivering. I knew he was about to cry, so I got up and hugged him tightly on the bed.

"Don't go away Roxas, you can't leave me! We promised that we would do this together! You can't leave me Roxas, you can't -"

"Shhh, Sora it's gonna be alright."

I hated lying to him.

* * *

><p>The car ride to Oxford Academy for Boys was silent. All I knew about this place was that it was a reform school, and that it was a place for juvenile kids who couldn't cooperate in ordinary school. The only thing I was looking forward to was seeing Riku for the first time in ever. He went to the same school and probably has the place by his fingers by now. I wasn't worried. But I couldn't bear to leave my mom and Sora behind. I didn't want to. But my father left me no choice. It was either boarding school, or boarding school. They didn't even walk me into the school. I looked back at the car and saw my mom and Sora in tears. My father didn't even bother to look at me. I still didn't understand why not, but I guess that's something he needs to figure out on his own.<p>

Before I walked into the school, I heard the car door open and turned to see who got out.

Sora was running towards me with open arms, and he was softly sobbing in my chest. I tried not to cry, but I couldn't help it. When I'm with Sora, I'm such a ham.

"I'll be back before you know it." I comforted him.

Sora sniffled. "I'll find ways to visit you."

I smiled and began blinking my eyes to cover up the tears. I pulled him arm's length distance away, and looked him in the eye.

"You tell dad when you're ready. You let him know that it is not a disease. It's just the way we were. What we chose to be."

Sora nodded, and wrapped his arms around me once again. I began caressing the back on his head, and smiled. I'll try not missing his fashion sense while I'm gone.

I gave my mother one last hug good-bye. I looked at my father and for the first time I never expected a response back.

"If anything happens to Sora, I swear I'll be back."

My dad gripped the steering wheel. "They only time you'll be back is when you're cured."

I smiled, and shook my head. "Someday I'll figure out what's wrong with you."

I took my things and headed towards the front office. The building looked pretty decent, and very proper. It almost could pass for a castle, almost like Hogwarts, but a bit dumber down. I carried my things around from administrator to another. They all told me the same thing, "Welcome aboard Mr. Rogers!"

Urgh. I also hated my last name. I was always made fun of because I had the name of an old man who wants to be your neighbor. That's not a good way to start a childhood. So hearing that name brought back many horrible elementary memories.

Finally, I was handed my key, and I was walked up to my room where I would be staying for probably the next few weeks. Or months. Hell, until I get 'cured', as my dad says. It pissed me off to think that he said it.

I reached my room, and was told for the hundredth time that I was welcomed aboard. It annoyed me so damn much. Where the hell is the boat that I boarded? It made no fucking sense. And I thought that this was an academy…

I entered the room with my luggage barely falling off my shoulders. There was only one bed, a desk, and then a view of the campus below. I was about a good 50 feet high for the ground below, which scared me so much. I didn't even want to think about the height, so I pressed forward. I had a decent closet, and mirror to look at. This might not be bad.

I said that before I even got to the bed.

Plastered right in the middle was this huge stain on the mattress. It almost looked like an orange type of color, like vomit. I shuddered once I came near it.

The sound of footsteps startled me, and I heard a very peppy voice greet me.

"Hiya! Welcome to Oxford!"

I turned around super-fast, dropping my luggage. It was a teenage boy with blond ass hair, lighter than mine, and some kind of Mohawk with a flare down the back. He was wearing a concert t-shirt, skinny ass jeans, and the biggest light green eyes. "Who are-"

I couldn't even finish my sentence. The peppy Mohawk blonde came into my room and began to shake my hand. "Oh boy, oh boy! We have a newbie! Hi, my name is Demyx, and it's really nice to meet you! Gosh your hair looks just looks like mine. Maybe we can compare colors sometime! I have some hair dye if you want to dye it the same as me! Oh boy, a newbie!"

And it continued on, and on. It wasn't until a slate haired boy came into my room, a foot shorted than Demyx. He was wearing all black, and only one pearl eye was exposed. He carried a book in his hands, and pushed Demyx back.

"Sorry about that. I'm still training him to be house trained." His voice was a British accent which was low, and stern. I snickered at his comment, then looked at Demyx to find him giving the boy a supposed angry face.

"Zexy, that's not very nice! I'm not a dog ya know."

The boy looked up at Demyx, how was pouting at him with both hands on his hips.

"I beg to differ. I'm Zexion."

I nodded at both of them. "I'm Roxas."

The looked at me strangely. Demyx looked like he a lost puppy, and then looked at Zexion who looked at Demyx the same the same time he did.

"You wouldn't happen to know Riku, would you?"

I looked up, wide-eyed. I didn't want to embarrass Riku's swag here in this new school. I would hate it if someone did that to me, so I would defiantly not do that to Riku.

"Nope, I never heard of the guy. Sounds like a fearsome guy."

Zexion and Demyx looked at each other with the biggest smirk on their faces. Demyx reached over to grab my arm and told me, "Come newbie, a friend wants to see you."

I was dragged down the hall by his crazy blonde, and with his short midget friend behind me, probably making sure if I didn't run away. I didn't know if I was ready to see Riku. I didn't know what he would look like. The last time I saw him was when I caught him smoking really good weed.

"_What's up with that faggot brother of yours?"_

"_Hey, that's my brother you're talking about."_

"_Well he follows me around too much… Tell him to stop."_

"_Not my fault. I can't tell my brother who he shouldn't and should not follow."_

"_What – does he have a crush on me? Pathetic."_

"_Hey, you'd be lucky to have Sora. He would give you some real sense of fashion. Maybe make you take baths once and awhile."_

"_Shut-up."_

"_What's that smell?" a person from outside the bathroom called. "Who's in here?"_

"_Roxas, hide."_

"_Riku, what about –?"_

"_Crawl through the window. Go now!"_

"_What if –"_

"_GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"_

And then he was caught while I was hiding next to the window. I heard him give the football sass, and how the coach yelled in his face for having such a mouth. When it came time for him to admit who else was here, because there was too much weed for him to smoke alone, he simply responded:

"_I just wanted to go to my special place."_

I smiled at the thought. I knew from then and there that I had to keep Riku's title at the school. I had to keep that bad boy image in honor of him being such a badass, and of being a real friend. I never thanked him, he deserved to be thanked. Not once had someone done something like for me. I felt the need to owe him.

Demyx opened the door, and inside revealed a head or long silver hair. His body was skinny, but fit around the torso. He was wearing a blue tight shirt, and some baggy skinny jeans. He looked well; maybe because I saw from only the back.

"Ri?" Demyx began. "Someone's here to see you."

Riku stiffened, and slowly turned his whole body to face me. I gasped a bit once I saw him. His big turquoise eyes gazed at me, and looked shocked. He looked just about the same, but one thing was a real attention grabber. One the left side on his face, a huge scar ran down from his cheek bone all the way to his chin. It scared me a bit how he got that, but nevertheless it was great to see him.

He smiled, which was something I never saw him do. He was always serious, never happy. So to see him like this confused me a bit, but it was great to see him.

"Guys, can you give us a minute?"

'But we still go to introduce him to A –" Demyx began, but was nudged in the ribs by Zexion.

"He'll find out about him soon enough. See you later peeps."

Riku smiled at me once more, and put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry they were the first people you met."

I shrugged, speaking in the voice he remembered me by. "Whatever."

Riku tilted his head, and narrowed his eyes just a bit. "You don't have to do that here. Be who you wish you could be."

I looked at him confused, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. It was just different because it was a new environment, and I wanted to be known as a person not to trifle with. I'm the guy everyone needs to avoid, not the guy someone can come to with problems. Ew, I hate solving peoples problems…

"Sit down; we have a lot to talk about."

He gestured for me to sit on the bed, but I made my way over to his desk chair. I was still trying to get used to colorful Riku. It was new, but I'll know he'll explain things. Just for the time being, it was weird seeing him in another color besides black.

"I guess I should start off with the scar, huh?"

I nodded very slowly, trying not to keep my eyes on it, but it was just the one thing on his face.

"Well, when my mom found out about the incident with the weed she freaked out. Of course she blamed it on my friends, my school work, and my appearance, but I told her something else. I told her it was medicine, to cure something I had." He tensed a bit and sighed. "I told her that I was experiencing some new things. And the next thing I'm about to tell you, you must promise not to freak out."

I nodded, crossing my arms.

"A few weeks ago before I was caught, I cornered Sora in the boy's locker room. I started flirting with him, and just messing around with him. To my shock, he played along. He wasn't scared at all. I was high as fuck, so I don't remember what happened next, but all I knew was that whatever I did, made Sora follow me wherever I went. That's why I asked you when we were blazing it, what was wrong with Sora, maybe thinking if he told you anything. I had no idea what I did, but I figured it was something that made me him develop some type of crush on me."

My eyes were wide. I could not believe what I was hearing. Not once had I let any girl go after Sora because they would get their heart broken. But Riku, being gay? No, I didn't want to believe it. It was impossible! No. No he's dicking around with me. I started waiting for the "just kidding Roxas" but I never heard it.

Instead, he continued on.

"So I told my mom that I was smoking weed because I needed to be cured from thinking that I'm gay. Next thing you know she poured out the rice in the pot she was making for dinner, and hit me across the face. I woke up in the car, road going fast, bags in the back, and my mother crying while she drove me here."

I didn't breathe. I couldn't. From what I went through, this was the darker side. So Riku ended up coming here for the same reason I did; to be cured of being gay.

"Riku –"

"Roxas I'm sorry about Sora. I knew I should have told you, but I wanted to be sure. I know how defensive you get when it comes to your brother, but damn it Roxas those eyes! Kind of like… Like the ones you have…"

I looked up at him fast. Riku stood up slowly, and walked over to me. I didn't know how to react, so I didn't. He took a step closer and closer and me. I remembered how to breathe, and I did the first thing my body was able to do.

I slid off the chair and fell to the floor, a foot away from Riku.

His green ocean like eyes began to blink and flutter around the room. Once he saw me on the floor, he laughed, scratching his head awkwardly.

"Sorry, you just made me think of Sora…"

I stiffened again. "There is no way in hell I am letting you near my brother. If we look so damn a like, what'll happen if I dye my hair brunette? We'll you mistake me for Sora? Riku, you stay away from my brother."

"Roxas I'm sorry –"

"And you stay the hell away from me."

Riku crossed his arms, and sighed. "Roxas I'm sorry. I've just been thinking about your brother a lot."

"Well stop! You crazy lunatic! Riku the last time I saw you were smoking so much kush that your pupils couldn't grow any bigger. Damn, and then afterwards you fucking took E! You think Sora wants to be with some drugged up druggie like you?"

"Yeah, he said so himself."

I paused. Damn, I never knew my brother was so desperate. "Well I won't let him. I won't let you get anywhere near him."

Riku raised an eyebrow, and licked his upper corner lip. "Well for your information I've been clean since I got here, and I just miss your damn brother so much. You want me to get over him? Tell him to stop being so damn sexy in those outfits he wears every day and puts up on Facebook."

"Oh my God, that's just nasty Ri, don't every call my brother that ever again."

Riku laughed, and sat on his bed. "Yeah well, get used to it."

I smiled at him. "Okay, maybe if you're good and you don't pull any shit like that every again, I'll consider you dating my brother."

Riku laughed loudly, probably with full of joy. "Thanks big brother. Glad I get your approval."

After that, Riku and I talked for a long ass time. He told me about school, and how it was amazing here. He tried the bad boy act, but everyone hated him afterwards. So he dropped it and became popular just being himself. I didn't like the idea, but hey, it he could do it, maybe so could I. I told him about my situation, and how I got here. I thanked him for being the example of having me sent here, and he gladly welcomed me back. I told him about Hayner, which lead to silence in the room for a good five minutes. He continued on saying he never liked that bitch Seifer, and how he always was on Riku's ass about everything. He knew as well as I did that he wanted power. When I admitted that I was a gay to him, he laughed, and told me he was sorry for contaminated me. I told him it wasn't his fault, it was Hayner's. It was around six o'clock that Riku told me to go unpack, and get ready for the weekend ahead of me. He promised me he would walk me to all my classes, and that I wouldn't be a lost freshman on my first day. I left his room after that, with promises to meet in the courtyard so we could catch up on other things.

I walked back to my dorm, and notice a note in crayon on my door. I looked around to see if anyone would have put in on just recently. No one was there, and I heard nothing. I took the big note, and read the huge letters.

LUNCH ROOM – 6 P.M. DON'T BE LATE

I looked around once more and saw no one. So who the hell would have left this here? I checked my phone, and it was five till 6. I sighed, and walked down the hall.

I knew where the lunch room was because I had to walk through it to get to my dorm. Since it was pretty late, the lunch room looked pretty dark. My heart raced a bit when I walked into the middle. My eyes wondered around the barely lit cafeteria. I swear something was going to pop up and chainsaw my guts out. All of a sudden I noticed a sign that had a huge red arrow that lead to what looked like a storage closet. The door was opened just a crack, and a dim light shined through. I didn't think what the worse could happen, like a zombie popping out, or a serial killer with an axe coming out. I just simply walked right inside.

There, in a circle, were four guys. Two of them I already knew, Zexion and Demyx. Zexion had his arms crossed, and was pouting as if he was forced out of bed. Demyx's legs were crossed, and he seemed occupied with his air guitar. Another was a man with bright pink hair that stuck up in many places. He had a wicked grin on his face, and he seemed to be something down on a huge clipboard. But one curious person caught my eye. A very tall guy sat in front of me, a big bush of red hair blocking me from entering the circle. Just by the structure of his shoulders, he was super skinny, in an unhealthy way. But something about his skinniness made him look attractive. I don't even know what I'm saying, it's the back of him. He's probably butt ugly from the front.

"Roxas," the pink haired man spoke. He looked down at his clipboard, his glasses almost falling off his nose. "Age 17. Last attended Hollow Bastion High School." The man looked at me, his eyes wicked with whatever he was happy with. He slowly took his glasses off, and crossed his legs. "Why don't you take a seat, and get to know your fellow group members?"

"Group members?" I repeated. "What for, I didn't sign up for any group."

His smile never faded away. "Well you came here didn't you? No turning back now. That would be rude."

I rolled my eyes, and took the open seat next to Demyx. I settled myself, popping a foot up and leaving the other hanging off the chair. Demyx nudged me a smile, and Zexion just lifted his head up, greeting me. My eyes traveled to the red head from the other end of the circle. His head was tilted back, and he had a smile plastered on his face. His big green eyes stared right at me, making a shiver go up my spine. I didn't want him thinking I was a coward, so I stared right back at him. It was one of those stares that I gave to a freshman when he walked in front of me in the hall ways. Instead of fear, I got a huge grin, and a small chuckle.

"Alright Neanderthals, listen up. We have a new student here at Oxford, and I want you to give him a big welcome."

"We already did coach!" Demyx replied, almost bouncing out of his seat. I saw Demyx's hand on Zexion's, making him blush just a bit. I tilted my head. No… They couldn't possibly be…

"Very well then. Well Roxas my name is Marluxia. I am the swim team coach here at Oxford." Marluxia smiled at me and lifted his clipboard to his chest. "This group here is a discussion group. We talk about our day, what's bothering us, all that good stuff. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"

I looked at Marluxia after my intense stare down with Mr. Red over here. "Well I refuse to." Everyone looked at me, surprised. "I don't feel comfortable sharing my personal information with a bunch of strangers. I mean, I don't know what you do in your free time Marluxia. For all I know you can be a pedophile."

Everyone chuckled after that. I smiled at the coach, hoping that he knows where I stand.

"I see. Well that's fine Roxas, I understand." Marluxia put back on his glasses, and wrote something down on his clipboard. I smiled, and crossed my arms. I sighed in content, knowing that this was going to be the end of this discussion group.

"So who wants to share first?"

I looked up, wide eyed. They took that seriously?

"I'll go!" Demyx raised his hand. "Okay, well I was at home with my ma, and we were both getting high together. My dad comes in and he starts flipping out, calling me names and my mom names, and it just went to hell from there. But then that's how I got here! With all of you guys!"

Marluxia gave Demyx a glare, like he was waiting for Demyx to continue on.

"Oh!" He jumped once again. "And I've been clean ever since I got here, which was a year ago."

Marluxia smiled, and wrote something in his clipboard. "Next?"

"Well," Zexion started. "I was in a group home because my mum and my dad were away here in America. I had a party with some of my friends. We were doing any kind of shit we could find. It just got wild and out of control. Next thing I know kids were drunk, high, jumping off the railing, smashing glass on other kids." Zexion stiffened. "I later found out that there was a serial killer roaming around the city, and he somehow killed some people at my party. Mum and dad were furious, and it didn't help that I was on the news as a criminal for letting in that killer in the house." Zexion took a breath, and closed his fingers together. "They sent me here because they said, and I quote, _'Couldn't stand to look at this criminal.'_ So I've been here for the past 3 years."

I was shocked to hear Zexion's story. I would never think that my mom would say that to me. I don't know about my dad, but I would think he wouldn't say that. Come to think of it, I don't my dad thinks me the same, or even loves me the same.

Marluxia finished writing something in his clipboard, and looked at Mr. Red, whose arms were crossed, and legs were stretched out. "Care to share?"

Mr. Red sat up, and smiled at everyone. "The name's Axel, got it memorized? No one here has heard my story, so I don't feel comfortable sharing to some squirt like you."

I popped an eyebrow. "Well then I guess we're going to be strangers."

"Nah," Axel continued. "I just don't see what makes you so special that I need to share my story with you. I rather hear what you were in for. Stealing from your daddy perhaps? Oh no, probably took some candy at the store huh? No wait –You told off a teacher at your school. Well hate to break it to you blondie, but this is a place where you really need work. I suggest you go to some prep posh school down the street because –"

"I pushed my boyfriend off a 10 feet patio at my school."

Silence struck hard around the group. I crossed my arms, and sat back in my chair. Who the hell does he think he is, judging me that I'm some posh kid? What an asshole.

Marluxia adjusted himself in his seat, and cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses. "Well Roxas, that was short and to the point. However, that shouldn't be something you should be proud of. It's a horrible thing to do. Who did you say you pushed off again?"

Everyone leaned in. Oh shit. If I said I was gay, then how will everyone think of me? If I say I'm gay, then no one will take me seriously.

"My friend." I said. "I pushed my best friend off the patio."

Axel sat up and pointed a finger at me. "No, no I heard _'boyfriend'_."

"Yeah, me too." Demyx said. Zexion nudged him, making Demyx jump in his chair.

"No I said best friend." I said quickly.

"Roxas, whatever your preference is, you will not be judged here. You must know that."

I felt the room closing in on me, and all eyes were on me. My heart began to race, and I almost lost control of my breathing.

"I'm not gay."

"Damn! I was pretty sure you were." Axel spoke right after.

I felt my senses come back, and I stared at Axel. "You wish I was gay."

"No, not really. Cause I mean if I piss you off I don't want to be pushed off a 10 feet patio."

"I said he was my friend!" I yelled at Axel.

"Keep telling yourself that sweetie."

"Alright guys." Marluxia stood up. "I think we had enough for tonight. We will meet again next week. Good night."

Demyx and Zexion got up, and walked out of the storage room. I eyed them until they walked out, expecting them to hold hands or something. It was bothering me that I didn't know if they were together or not. Either way I had to find out.

"Roxas," I looked up. Marluxia was standing next to me. He was surprisingly tall. A flower stood out of his collared shirt pocket. "You do know what you did was wrong, do you?"

I nodded to him right after he asked. He nodded back, and walked away. I was left in the room with Axel, who was still seated with one leg up on another, his arms extended to the two chairs next to him, smiling from ear to ear.

"I like you. You're like a hot feisty piece of shrimp"

I scoffed, and stood up to walk away from this place.

"Just hear me out kid." Axel called again. There was something in his voice that made me want to say. I fought the urge to stay, and started to walk away.

All of a sudden a force pulled me back and I was face to face with Axel, his big emerald eyes looking down at me.

"You're a piece of work." And he smiled.

"So what am I then? A piece of shrimp, or a piece of work?"

He laughed, which gave me goose bumps. "Oh you're going to be fun. See you around kid."

And with a wink, he was gone. I was left there, thinking what this guy was really about. It made me curious as to who he was, how he got here. I never acted like a stalker before, but for some reason with him, it just made me want to find out everything about him. I guess he must have done something really bad not to talk about it in front of others, or me. I knew that this was a reform school, but I didn't think the situations were so bad. I mean Demyx and Zexion look like sane kids. I haven't everyone else, but I would think that they are just the same. So my main objective as of now; Find out why Axel was sent here. Not because he is a gorgeous piece of man… Okay yeah, mainly because he is a gorgeous piece of man. But I wasn't sent here to meet a new guy. I was supposed to be thinking who I really am.

And that's straight.

Well, I'm supposed to be straight. But one look at Axel makes me think otherwise.


	2. The Weekend

**:D !**

**Thank you to the four people who took time to review this! All 4 of you made me want to finish this chapter as soon as possible! I must say that I felt that this chapter is not as great as the first one D: I think I made Roxas' character less of a bad-ass. But I do hope you like it . It took me this long because I would write something, then I wouldn't like it so I would edit it out and place then put the words I edited out onto another document as 'Deleted scenes', so once this story is done there will be Deleted scenes :D**

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION:I did change this fic to Rated M because of the usage of profanity used in here. As you can tell I am a potty-mouth -_-" (I am working on it though!) I did not change it because there will be future lemon in this fic D: I would like to inform you that I will NEVER write smutt because I'm not mature enough to write it xD But I don't know...I'll give it into consideration. **

**I would also like to tell you guys that I decided to make only 10 chapters of this story(: I have a lot going on though, so I might take awhile to post these up D: I'm a marching band member, so I have like NO weekend at all, and I have school too ._. But still, I shall finish this for you four, and anyone else that comes along :D **

**So please don't be shy to review this story if you like it! :D They make me write faster!**

**NOTE: I did get lazy at the end of editing this D: Sowwie! Please point them out but be nice please ._.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing (: Just the story plot of this fic ^o^**

**Enjoy Ch.2 ~ Roxas' first weekend at Oxford (:**

* * *

><p>Thank the Lord that it was a weekend because I would have never found my classes by the next day. Riku walked me around campus, showing me important places that I needed to know. I was surprised to see that Riku was well known around the school. I didn't quite understand if he was popular through him being a badass, or if he was just a really cool guy.<p>

"I told you. You don't have to be that around here." He smiled down at me and showed me where the building to my science class was. "You can be anyone you want to be."

"The closet gay you mean?" I snickered, and opened the door.

"Well from what I hear people got your respect even though you were gay."

I gave him a look. I guess he was right, but there is just something wrong with the feeling of having everyone judge you.

"They won't judge you if you just be yourself." Riku pointed to classroom 534 C, and I marked it on my map.

One think struck me though. "How did you know I was being respected at Hollow Bastion?"

Riku smiled really big, and brushed off a piece of hair in his face back to his ears. "Sora told me."

I stopped, and pulled his arm. He saw my face, and knew what was coming.

"What? He found me on Facebook. How could I not resist befriending him?"

"You Facebook stalk the guy."

"I told you why!"

"Ah, don't even mention it again…"

We laughed and we continued our walk to my next class. Oxford was a really big school, and I just know that there will never be a day where I will wear sandals to class. The conversation about being me always came up, and it made me think twice about what kind of person I wanted to be.

"This is your chance Roxas, to start off fresh, and make new friends based off of what kind of person you really are. Forget about your Hollow Bastion friends, and think about who you really want to be."

I thought really long and hard before I answered Riku back.

"I don't want to be known as 'Roxas the Gay'. I'm better than that."

Riku smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Well only if you act like it."

I nudged him in the ribs, and he started laughing. Then he punched my chest, and then we both began to tickle each other. Our laughs were echoing around campus because we were that damn loud. Riku all of sudden pushed me to the grass, and he ends up winning the tickle war. I cry out for help, and suddenly Riku lifted off me. I stopped laughing and looked up. There, right above me, was Axel, smiling his wicked smile, his big green eyes glaring down at me.

I sighed in annoyance, hoping he got the message. "Can I help you?"

"Actually you can," he started as he looked at Riku, then back to me. "I seem to be having some trouble back at my dorm with the sheets on my bed. I can't seem to put them down on the corner of my wall. I was wondering if you could help me."

I lifted my brow. "Your bed sheets?"

Axel nodded. "It is kind of a rough job for someone like me. I need someone who is small, and –"

"Is this really a way to ask someone out to your dorm room for sex?"

I looked up at Riku, wide eyed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Axel here is someone you should watch out for Roxas." His expression was serious, but he was speaking in a fun loving tone. "He likes his boys young and fresh."

I looked up at Axel as he shrugged. "I cannot deny the truth."

I scoffed, and got up from the grass. "Excuse me but I have to find my classes with Riku."

All of a sudden, Riku's phone rang, and he took one look at the screen and freaked out. He whispered that it was Sora – as to how he got his number I do not know but I will kick his ass later – and left me with Axel.

I slowly looked at him, hoping not to see him smiling that stupid big smile of his. But of course, he was smiling that big stupid smile.

"So Roxy, I believe that you need to find your classes, but you have no escort who knows this place." He extended an arm and did a polite bow, as if it was the Elizabethan age. "Allow me to provide you with my services."

Are you fucking kidding me? I can't fathom how hot he looked right about now. But there is no chance that I would ever say that to him.

I walked right past his gesture, and continued on with my own tour. It was second later that I heard footsteps running towards me.

"So I'm pretty sure that you were supposed to accept my offer back there."

I shrugged, trying to not have all my attention on him. "I don't need an escort to help me find my room."

"Oh, but you need an escort to escort you to your room."

I stopped, looking up at his gorgeous smile.

"What's up with you? Are you trying to annoy me?"

"No." He put his hands in his jean pockets. "I'm just trying to pull you out of Narnia."

I looked at him funny, but then gasped as I caught onto what he said. I pouted at him, which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, and stormed right past him, walking far away from him.

"You can thank me later, by helping me with my sheets!" He called after me.

I turned around and bumped into his chest. He chuckled rather loudly, which made me uncomfortable. I was pretty sure he felt the awkwardness I was giving out, so I quickly backed away, having him chuckled even more. Oh Lord, it took everything in me not to wrap my arms around him and have him just hold me. Thoughts of those big skinny arms wrapped around me gave me shivers. I tried to press that thought away, but they just stayed there. Axel crossed his arms, grinning from ear to ear. I tried everything I had in me to give him a sour look, but I think it came off as some stupid face only a puppy would give. I could tell because right after Axel laughed. I scoffed, and began walking away. I didn't even hesitate to turn around when Axel began calling me. I heard footsteps come closer to me, but that didn't stop me. I was just embarrassed, and I didn't want to endure anymore of it.

"Roxy!" He called. And that was the final straw.

"First of all," I turned around, and pointed a finger at his chest. "My name is Roxas. Second, I don't want you near me for as long as I stay here. And third,"

I had to think a second for what was the third thing I was about to say to him when all of a sudden I looked into his eyes. I instantly got lost in them because they were just there, staring at me, all sad, and worried. Damn it! Why does he have to be this way?

"S-stay away from me."

"You already said that."

"Well me having to repeat means how serious I am! So be gone and good day!"

* * *

><p>I made it back to my dorm room in one piece. I don't know what it is with Axel. What makes him so fucking attractive? It just pisses me off. I guess the best way to avoid anything that is going to happen is to just straight up ignore him. That is the best solution.<p>

Before I could enter my room, I noticed Zexion and Demyx standing right in front of my door. I slowly walked up to them, and gave them a questioning look. The two spotted me, and I knew something was wrong. I noticed Zexion had a grin on his face, and Demyx was pouting with his head down.

"What?" I asked, obviously knowing they were about to tell me something.

"Every year the hall decides to pick someone to do the nasty chore." His smile never faded away.

"It's just that I was the newest kid so they picked me," Demyx began, looking like he had sympathy for me. "B-b-but then you came, and then so the title came to you."

I looked at them curiously. "What's the chore?"

Zexion smiled even bigger, and Demyx put his head down.

"It's the bathroom that's down the hall."

I shrugged. How bad can it be?

Zexion and Demyx walked me down the hall, and we stopped at a door which was old and rusted. Zexion reached for the copper doorknob, and smiled at me as he opened it.

I couldn't breathe. The smell was horrible, which also blinded my eyes. Zexion slightly pushed me inside and I got a good look around the restroom. The smell was a mixture between sweat and a decaying animal. I noticed that the four shower doors to my left were closed shut. Demyx made his way in with me, and clutched my arm. I felt Zexion's stare over my shoulder, so I gently pushed Demy off of me.

"What the hell is in those showers?" I dared to ask.

Zexion smiled once more. "Your worst nightmare_._"

He kicked open one of doors, and I couldn't believe my eyes. Black mold covered from the ceiling to the floor. The shower door was yellow with tiny black spots, probably mildew that's been there for over some years. The smell got worse, making my breathing very shallow.

"The whole hall expects me to clean all this shit?"

Zexion chuckled in delight. "The whole entire thing. You do this, and everyone will think you're a god."

"Or they might think you're just plain stupid for saying yes." Demyx commented on Zexion's last statement.

Zexion nudged Demyx in the ribs, which made him squirm.

Everyone will think I'm a god huh? That doesn't sound like a bad idea… Now that you think about it, it would be nice to be recognized as the newbie who dared to clean the shithole down the hall. _'Roxas, the one who cleaned the restroom down the hall'_… It was a nice ring to it.

"Alright, this bathroom will be clean by the end of this weekend." I smiled

Zexion smiled wickedly, exposing his straight teeth. "Well Roxas, I underestimated you. I wish you all the luck."

I needed all the luck I could get. It was barely Saturday, and I told them I would finish it by the end of this week. What was I thinking? You need power tools to clean all this.

I decided not to lose any time. I needed to start on it at least today. Once Zexion and Demyx left I headed straight to my dorm, quickly getting my stuff I would need to enter that restroom again. I took my iPod dock – along with my iPod– and changed into clothes that I would wear around the house, or in this case now, around my dorm area.

I sighed at the thought, thinking what I would be doing right about now with Sora. We would probably be out at an arcade, or some stupid shit like that because dude, we're guys! What else are we going to do, knit? The both of us would be trying to beat each other's score at the arcade in the mall that is near our house. Then once we do, we would go around the other games and beat the other high scores. But that's only the afternoon. Half the day is spent and we are still not done. We would then sit by Hollister, or Abercrombie and Fitch and just see all the guys walk into the store. We would wear sunglasses so that way they don't know we are looking at them. The best days are when the models are in the entrance of Abercrombie. Oh Lord… _Those _are good days were we would call them 'miracles'. Those _were _the days.

I could help but check my phone every five minutes just in case I missed his call, or text, something. I wanted to hear from my brother, and I had a strong feeling that my father was keeping him from having any contact with me.

I tried pushing the idea away and maybe a few tears as well. Right now I was about to endure cleaning the disgusting growing particles on the shower wall.

I walked to the mold infested restroom, and stood in front of the door. I took in a few breathes of fresh air because I figured I won't be getting much of that for a long time. My hand reached for the door, and the odor of sweat and balls filled my lungs. I made a gag reflex noise, which echoed around the restroom. I placed my iPod dock near the sinks, which was also filled with grime and green looking shit. I turned around once again, and began looking through my music. What's a good song to scrape shit off the wall in a restroom? I began getting tired of finding a song, so I just put on shuffle. The sounding of the guitar intro to Saosin's Voices filled my ears, and I closed my eyes, nodding my head to the beat of the music. I started dancing over to the cleaning supplies under the sink. It is true that music soothes the soul, because I'm so calm when I listen to my music.

I take out a bucket and a shitload of cleaning substances that will make you high with one whiff. I took a second look at the CLR, eyeing it a bit. I haven't gotten high ever since that time with Riku. Maybe if I… I threw the CLR to the ground, and forced myself to say 'No' out loud. Yeah sure it's a good high, but why would I want to get high? What's the point? Plus, there's no one around here to get high with. It's no fun when you do it by yourself. I sighed, and looked further into the cabinet if there were face masks. Surprisingly, there were some. I put one on, picking up the CLR, and heading over to the shower. I took a second to look at it, and then shook my head. That can wait until tomorrow. I walked over to the toilets, and open it, gasping as to what I saw what was inside. I'm pretty sure the toilet was clogged way back when, but god damn I couldn't tell if it was a huge ass hair ball, or a big ball of shit. I knew there was only one solution, and that was to pick that shit up with my bare hands.

I quickly ran over to the cabinet again, searching for gloves. Once I found then I ran back. Okay Roxas, the sooner the better. Just reach in there and grabbed that shit. I closed my eyes and reached inside. To my luck, it was hair inside the toilet. I sighed, and threw the wig into the bucket. I took a seat on the floor, and sighed. The floor probably needs cleaning first, so I don't know why I decided to pick out hair in the toilet. I sighed, and got a broom, beginning to sweep.

I think I spent a good hour just sweeping and mopping the floor. It looked spotless after I was done with it. I decided to take a break, and check my phone, to see if Sora tried calling me. I took off my gloves, and checked my phone. My screen was clear. I sighed. Now I know my dad had something to do with Sora not getting in contact with me. Damn, I was starting to miss Sora very much and my mom as well. Oh, I missed my mom's cooking the most though. She made good food. I checked the time. It was barely 12:45; lunch was being served at the dining hall. I sighed, and promised myself that I would work most of the restroom today. I decided that I need to lose a few pounds because hey, I want to still look fit, and maintain my body weight. I began examining myself in the rusted mirror. I started flexing, showing off my some-what muscles. They were there, but there is always room for improvement. I smiled at myself, at shook my head. What am I thinking? Am I trying to look good for myself, or for Axel?

Whoa. I didn't think I would say something like that.

Not once have I admitted to myself that I liked the guy, and it kind of scared me as to how easily I said it. I didn't hesitate at all. I don't even know the guy! How can I be confused as to if I like him or not? Obviously it would be not because I don't fall for assholes.

Okay I take that back.

I don't fall for guys like Axel, who are stuck up and rude.

…

Maybe I should stop talking and start cleaning the shit off the toilets.

I grab the toilet brush and the stupid bubbles spray and walk over to the toilet. I began spraying the whole bowl until everything was covered in soap suds. I placed the mask back on my face, and began scrubbing.

And there I sat, scrubbing toilets for another hour. Stall after stall, I cleaned the walls, and then the toilets. There were a total of four stalls, and all of them were cleaned. Thank god I'm not a perfectionist because I knew that if I was I would be scrubbing those toilets till the end of the day. I did a good days work, and decided that was enough work for today. I would clean the walls and showers tomorrow. I shuddered as I thought about the showers. I checked my phone once more, my hopes shattering once I saw my screen to be empty. For about the fifth time to today I let out a disappointed sigh, and headed back to my dorm. I quickly got a new change of clothes, heading off to the newer showers. Chemicals were on my skin and it felt nasty and sticky. On my way to the nice, clean restroom, I caught Riku leaving his room.

"Roxas!" He smiled as he looked up from his phone.

I gave him a look, and stopped in front of the door to the restroom. "Did you just get off the phone with Sora?"

Riku had guilt written all over his face. Oh my lord.

"Riku, that was at least a good three hours that you talked to him."

Riku began fiddling with his phone, and looked up at me. "Two hours and 56 minutes... to be exact."

My mouth flew open. "You talked to –" So that's why Sora didn't call me, because he was on the phone with Riku. He would rather talk to his crush rather than his own brother. I see then. Anger started rushing in, but I managed to control it, and not let Riku know about my disappointing two hours. "You make my head numb, I'm going to shower. I just finished cleaning half of the restroom down the hall."

Riku stood still, holding my arm. I looked down at his arm, remembering the talk we had about touching me. He instantly pulled away, and continued to look at me wide eyed.

"Please don't tell me you said you just cleaned it."

I gave a confused look. "I just said that I did…"

"Oh my god, Roxas why didn't you come to me before you cleaned it?" Riku almost yelled in my face.

"Oh, well excuse me for thinking of you and your privacy with MY brother! Who by the way, I haven't talked to since I got here!"

Riku stepped back a bit, looking sorry. "Roxas, every year an upper classman tricks the newbie to clean that restroom. Dude, that restroom had not been touched since the 80's. No one has gone in there and cleaned it when they were told to."

My hands were clenched in a fist. What the fuck? Cleaning that shit was just a prank? I started to lose it. I dropped my towel and clothes, punching the nearest wall next to me.

"Roxas!" Riku called to me. He touched my shoulders, but I shrugged him off because of our talk. He quickly took them off of me and began speaking.

"Roxas it's okay! It's just a prank!"

"I did a good job in there! What the fuck man! Who does shit like that?" I felt anger building up inside me, almost to the point where it was the same feeling like the moment with Hayner.

"Roxas, you have to calm down. It was just a prank." Riku began telling me.

I started to regain my sense of thought, and took a couple of breaths. "Sorry Ri, I don't know what –"

"It's cool. Now I know not to piss you off. You just got to control that."

I sent Riku a small smile. I picked up my stuff, and told him if he wanted to get lunch. He told me that he would wait for me once I get out. So I quickly showered, and was out in about 15 minutes. Riku and I began walking to the dining hall, which was on the other side of campus. He started talking to me about Sora, which depressed me a bit. He told me that Sora is not allowed to text me, call me, or be in any sort of contact with me because my father said so. Riku commented my dad as a class A Asshole. I agreed, and he continued on. He kept bragging about how cute Sora's voice is on the phone and how that if he ever has free time, Sora and him are going go somewhere, like on a date.

"Whoa," I stopped him right before we were going to go inside the dining hall. "Who said you could take him out on a date?"

Riku looked confused, but happy. "He did? Roxas what's the big deal?"

"I'm saying that the least you can do is ask permission to date my brother. My dad is out of the question, so I'm the next big thing."

"Roxas are seriously –"

"Go ahead. Ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"You need my permission to date my brother."

Riku laughed, and began looking around awkwardly. "You're kidding."

"I'm serious."

"Roxas, you can't be serious," He started whining.

"I'm fucking dead serious. Ask me permission to go on a date with my brother."

Riku laughed awkwardly. He licked his lips and placed his hands on his hips. He stood still, and looked me straight in the face. I crossed my arms, waiting for him to ask me. It was only fair. Call me old school, but my brother deserves a gentleman, not some jerk.

I waited for a good 2 minutes.

"Roxas Rogers," Riku began.

"Yes?" I answered.

"May I have the pleasure in taking your brother, Sora Rogers, on an outing with just the two of us, alone?"

I placed a finger on my lip, as if I was thinking about not considering it.

"Change your tone."

Riku let out a deep sigh, and lifted his arms in the air. "What the hell Roxas?"

"Is my brother worth this?"

Riku stayed silent. He rolled his eyes, and sighed.

"Will you give the honor of taking your lovely brother out on a proper outing?"

I thought about it again. "Now, with an Irish accent."

He punched my arm, making me laugh. I said yes right afterwards, and we continued our walk to the dining hall. As we entered inside, there were a massive amount of people. I was surprised to see girls here because this was an all-boys school.

"They are just the girlfriends of some guys. They come over on weekends. Most of them come from our sister school, Lavender Academy. They are really pretty girls let me tell ya."

I gave him a funny look. "How pretty are they?"

Riku looked at me with a smirk. "Pretty enough to make you think straight, damn those girls..."

Hmph, well now there's a thought I should keep in mind.

We walked over to the lunch line, picked up our plates, and began grabbing food.

"So what do you make of Axel?"

I stopped, and stood still, looking up at him confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know what I mean. You have the sweet eye for him."

I held back a small silent gasp, but then I choked on my own air. Riku looked down on me and let out an 'Mmm' sound, and he continued on getting food.

"Well from what I hear, you guys hit off after your group meeting last night."

I looked up at him again, this time more concerned than confused. "What do you mean?

Riku stopped walking, and leaned on the counter for our trays, and looked at me suspiciously.

"You mean to tell me that you are not even going to tell what you guys did?"

"What? What is there to tell you? We just talked! That's it!"

Riku opened his mouth in shock. He only stared at me briefly, and then continued on to put more food on his plate. "Well I guess you haven't heard what was going around."

I stiffened. No, people can't be talking about me already. What if they think I'm some vulnerable thing? I couldn't have it, I just couldn't….

"What exactly, did you hear?"

Riku shrugged. "He said that you were all over him, and that you couldn't keep your hands off him."

I stopped yet again, and almost dropped my plate.

"What?" I shouted a bit too loud.

Riku looked at me seriously, as if silently telling me to keep my voice down. "Hurry up and get your food so I can tell you about it."

I quickly just picked fruit and walked over to Riku, who was already seated on a table far away from people who can hear us.

"Alright. Well last night I guess when you were asleep, he was telling all his friends that you made a move on him after the group meeting you had with Marluxia and everyone."

"What the hell? He was the one who put the moves on me!"

"Shh!" He told me. "He was being all descriptive, how you went towards him and told him that you liked him, and that you were going to have fun with him –"

"HOLY SHIT!" I shouted once again. "No Ri, he said all those things to me! He put the moves on me!"

"Will you shut up and let finish? Stop getting your panties in a twist."

"I don't wear panties." I pouted.

Riku sat back in his chair and gave me a sour look. "Right now you're acting like you are."

I sighed, and sat back as well. I waved my hand to motion him to continue.

"So then I hear this and walk in. He was making shit up, and I knew it wasn't true because you don't do shit like that."

"What was it?"

"Like, full on kissing him, and you were making out."

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!" I stood up in my seat, furious.

"Roxas sit the fuck down! Stop making a scene!"

"Where is this fucker?" I asked angrily.

"Roxas, you need to sit you ass down and calm down. I'm not telling you shit about him until you calm down."

I noticed the attention I got, and it reminded me of the moment with Hayner in the cafeteria. Everyone's eyes were staring at me, just looking at me, wanting me to punch Hayner in the face for cheating on me. I slowly sat back down, and looked at Riku as calmly as I could.

"Alright, continue please." I told Riku.

Riku just sat still, and waited a couple seconds to speak again.

"Well I come into the room knowing that half the shit he speaks of isn't true and call bullshit on him. He gives me a smile and asks if were dating."

"And?" I eagerly ask.

"And I told him that we weren't. I told him that Axel was just thinking those things when he was masturbating in his room just minutes before and confusing that with reality."

I smiled, but let out a small chuckle. This is why Riku is my best friend. He knows me so well, and defends me when I need defending. He has changed so much since the last time I talked to him back at Hollow Bastion High. I smiled at the thought.

"So eat up, and we'll confront him together, okay? I don't want you to go in this alone. And plus, I want to be there when you tell him off."

I laughed, and we continued I began to eat. I was about to say something when I saw the expression on Riku's face. It was serious, and very concerned. It looked as if he was looking at someone. I turned my head and looked behind me. Maybe I shouldn't have turned around. There, watching towards our direction was none other than the devil himself. His big red spikes bounced up and down, and he smiled towards me, giving me a wink. The fucking nerve he has for walking towards this direction. That dumb bitch has no idea what's coming.

"Hey guys!" He greeted us politely. "Hiya Roxas." He spoke softly to my face, rolling the letter 'R' in my name. He sat down, moving the chair backwards so he can sit down. Oh lord, my name never sounded so good once he said it. Damn why did he have to roll his 'R's? I think I was starting grow attached to "Roxy" more than I was to my own damn name.

I felt a kick in my leg, and I jumped. I looked at Riku and he silently whispered that I was looking like a girl. He made the motion of a weggie, which indicated that I had my panties in a twist. Damn him…

"So what's up? Did I miss anything between you two?"

"Why the hell are you telling people that we hooked up last night?"

Axel sat still, eyes wide. He looked at me, and then bowed his head down, smiling. I looked over to Riku, who was drinking his milk through his straw very quietly. Axel then looked up and smiled, not exposing his teeth. His emerald eyes were not big, but normal sized. They trailed up and down my body, which made me shift my position of sitting.

"Axel, be straight up with the guy." Riku spoke.

"You had no right to do that." I said right after Riku. "Thanks to you, people will think that I'm some needy whore. I won't meet anyone else with them fearing that I might pounce of them."

"Roxas I'm sorry." He said as he looked up at me with those damn big green eyes. One look in his eyes and I felt that he was sincere, and that he was genuinely sorry for what he did. Just one look, I wanted to drop the whole thing and tell him that it was okay. I forgive him because I just look into his eyes and know the truth.

"A-alright. Glad we covered that." I didn't know what else to say. I began picking the sticker on my apple, and just looking so concentrated on it anything to keep my attention from his eyes. Oh Lord, those big green eyes… Oh just thinking about them is making me feel all soft inside. Any anger I had towards him were gone, and my weird feeling for Axel took over.

"You know Axel, I think if you wanted to do those things with Roxas, you should have just asked." Riku spoke.

I looked up quickly. I gave him a glare; oh boy did I give him a glare. What the fuck does he think he is doing? This isn't how it's supposed to go! What in the hell just happened? It went from confrontation to full on permission to ask me out.

"So Roxas," Please for the love of god, stop saying my name. "What do you say that you and I head over to my room and we can get to know each other?"

Just when you think he is a new person, he turns back to being a dick.

"You're fucking disgusting." I looked up from my apple. "And I don't play for your team."

I began concentrating on my apple again, picking the sticker that was apparently super glued to the damn fruit. I felt Axel lift his hands up, and then I heard them slam down on his side.

"When are you going to stop playing around with the Narnians and admit that you feel something for me?"

"Never!"

Axel's eyes widened and he smiled, and started to laugh. Riku then followed, and before I knew it, they were both laughing. It took me only a minute to understand what they were laughing at, and I instantly blushed.

"No! What I meant was –"

Axel interrupted me. "No, no I get it now. You like your Narnians, and I should not be someone to separate you from them."

Riku spat out his food, and ducked his head parallel to the table, continuing to laugh even more than he was before.

"Oh Roxy, you have no idea how much fun I have when I'm with you." He then patted my back, got up and left, leaving me speechless.

I looked over to Riku, who was still red in the face from laughing so much.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked.

Riku was still smiling, picking his food.

"Riku!"

"What Roxas?" he asked, almost laughing again.

"What the hell?" I told him.

"You told him what you wanted to say, it's done!" He was still fucking smiling.

"Well, you were laughing and –"

"Roxas he was right though. You like the guy; he obviously likes you, why don't you do something about it?"

"Ri, I've only known him for one day, one fucking day. I don't know if I like him or I don't."

"Oh believe me, you do. Don't think I didn't see your face when Axel looked you in the eye, and apologized. I mean that was some legit stuff, looked like it came out of a fucking movie."

"Riku, I don't like him."

Riku looked at me seriously, and held his burger in one hand. "You keep telling yourself that. All I know is what I see, and from the looks of it, you have it bad than he does."

I sighed, and grabbed my apple and stood up. "I'm going back to my dorm."

Riku asked if I need to be walked back but I told him that I was fine. I walked out of the cafeteria and into the bright sunlight. It was barely 2 o'clock and I had nothing to do. I checked my phone to see if Sora called, but then I thought of dad, and how he was forbidden to contact me. I sighed and didn't even bother to check my phone.

I continued the path, following the sidewalk. I tried to clear my mind and process everything that just happened this morning. My day wasn't even spent yet, just the morning. So much shit happened in just the morning. I tried looking for my iPod, but forgot that I left back in my dorm room. I then started to think of a song to listen to… Sadly, I suck at picking a song to fit a certain situation. I kicked a rock and continued on walking the curb.

"Roxas," I heard a familiar voice call out.

I stopped, and lifted my head in the air, annoyed with the world right now.

"Will you please just let spend the rest of the day without any of your shenanigans? I'm kind of tired too so please let me just –"

"Calm your tits Roxy; I was just going to ask if you wanted someone to walk you back to your dorm." He offered.

I thought about it, and I noticed that I was mesmerized by just his voice, and that I was willing to just nod and agree to anything he would probably tell me right now. I have no idea what it is with this guy, but when he can be nice, he can be _really_ nice. But then there are times where he can be a real dick, and you just want to punch his face in. It was at this moment right, that I knew for a fact that I would constantly be mind-fucked by him every single day. This was something I did not want to go through. But one look at him makes me rethink my motive, which pissed me off because when I decide something I want to stick to it.

Ah! He is going to break me one of these days, I know it…

"No, I-I'm fine." I spoke quickly. "Just please, leave me alone."

"Roxas," He started in that tone. "I just –"

I walked away from him. Damn I didn't want to but I knew that I had to. I barely knew him, but for some reason I felt alright with the world when I'm around him. It felt nice. I don't know what was keeping me from trying to get to know him.

Oh wait, I do know; my dad.

I was sent here to become straight, not to fall in love with a guy. I was supposed to change for my father's sake. I'm supposed to change for him, because his opinion of me only matters.

I started running away now, just thinking about it. But one thing for sure that I knew; I defiantly had feelings for Axel. Very strong feelings

* * *

><p>I reached my dorm room. Hell I ran all the way back. Screw that shower, I'll finish it tomorrow. Right now I have to take my mind off of Axel. This guy was driving me crazy. It bugged me so much that he is so fucking attractive, and that he had no idea what the hell he does. It bugs me that I know nothing about him, but yet I want to be held by him like I've known him for the longest time. It bothered me so fucking much that he is just too damn attractive!<p>

Why!

I threw myself on my bed, and yelled into my pillow, because I felt that was all that I could do. Yell. Let it out. I flipped myself over and stared at the ceiling. I then took another glance around my room. I saw that my bags were still unpacked. I let out a groan and figured that it would have to be done either way. I rose from my bed and sat on the floor, bringing my suitcase down as well. I let out a sigh, and unzipped my suitcase.

I didn't even get to begin without someone knocking on the door. My feelings were telling me not to get up, so who am I to not listen to my feeling? I yelled that the door was open, and in came in the person who knocked.

"Hey," a familiar voice sounded.

I threw myself back as I found Riku standing in my doorway.

"How much did you see?" I asked in monotone.

Riku smirked as he walked over to my bed, waving his hand at me. "I saw enough to make me believe that you two are involved."

I groaned, and kicked my suitcase far from me, knowing that I won't get to it. I might as well just leave my clothes in my suitcase because there is no way that I'm going to sort that shit.

"I don't even know the guy Ri…"

"But you do feel something for him. Isn't that the only thing that matters?"

I sighed. "But it bugs me that I don't know anything about him. I mean, I want to know him. I want to know why he's here."

Riku chuckled. "Good luck with that. Not all of us know why he's here either… But wait –" Riku stopped, and he adjusted himself on my bed. "Do you like him because he's a mystery, or because you think he's hot?"

"No! I mean, I think…" I couldn't even finish the sentence because I was confused myself. Did I like him because he was a mystery? Or did I like him because I thought he was one attractive person? My head began to hurt, and I groaned as I held my hands to my face.

"Roxas, will you for once in your life tell yourself the truth? You're starting to confuse me now."

I sighed, and sat up, facing him. "I like him, but I don't know why I like him."

Riku shrugged his hands, and smiled. "There you go. Now was that so hard?"

I gave him a stare, and got up from the floor. "You have no idea."

Riku smiled. "Well I actually came here to get you. We're going out."

I gave him a weird look, having the rules we settled flash through my head. "Riku, you can go call Sora because I won't –"

"Oh shut-up will you? I'm not taking you out on a date," Riku got up and brushed himself off. "There's a game party in the lounge downstairs. Everyone comes and shows off their mad skills." He did a little gangster pose, and laughed at his joke. "You want to come?"

I didn't give it a second thought. I quickly responded with a yes.

"Alright then, it starts in a few minutes. I'll meet you down there."

Riku then left, leaving me alone in my room. I took in a sigh, and breathed it out slowly. I tried looking around for my guitar that I brought, and I found it leaning on my desk. I walked over to it, remember howling I used to play and Sora would sing the lyric to the song I would try and make him guess. Damn, I miss Sora so much. I didn't understand how he could be in contact with Riku and not me. It hurt to know that. But then I also knew that my dad was behind it. Thinking about my dad got me frustrated, and it irritated me to think about him.

But then to my surprise, my phone rang, and I rushed over to it. I looked at the screen, and even though it was a text, a smile was still brought to my face as I read Sora in big bold letter. I clicked "READ", and I quickly read the text.

"_Skype yo! Get your ass on! (:"_

I laughed, and began digging for my laptop. My heart was racing as I realized that this would be the first time I'm going to see Sora's face in over 24 hours. Well, more like 12 hours, but it feels like 24 hours! I place my laptop on my bed and pounce on my bed, almost knocking my laptop to the floor. I waited as my computer took FOREVER to turn on. Seriously, why does it need to take like a fucking decade to load? You just need to turn it on, and then go around with your business just like a Game Boy, or a Wii system. It's that simple.

Once it turned on, I quickly clicked the Skype button, waiting yet another lifetime for that to load. But once I saw Sora's icon, and how it said 'Available' on it, I squealed like a fan girl. I was really going to see Sora, and I couldn't wait to see his face.

I clicked the 'Video Chat Now', and waited as I was connected to my brother. I did not have to wait a lifetime for it to connect because a second later, I saw Sora's grinning face on my computer screen. I began getting teary-eyed, because it was actually seeing my brother. The only thing separating us was a computer. I held my hand over my mouth, and touch my screen.

"Ah, come 'on Roxas," Sora began talking, which made my feeling even worse. "You're supposed to be the tough one!"

"Oh shut-up." I started whipping my tears. "It's just really nice to see you."

Sora smiled his adorable smile. "It's nice to see you too Roxas."

I smiled at him back, and tried to regain my whole being.

"So," I began at my normal state. "Want to tell me about your Riku business, and how you can talk to him, but not me, your brother?"

Sora got very still, and his face was shocked. "Well he –"

I listened to him stutter as he tried to find words to explain himself.

"He likes me, you know." Sora ended up saying.

I gave him a brow. "Well then, I guess I have to approve it because he likes you huh?"

Sora nodded. "Roxas you have no idea how long I've been crushing on him. It's amazing that he even knew who I was! I mean ever since that day in the locker room –"

"When he was high as fuck, by the way, I thought I should add that in there." I interrupted, and continued on. "And to why you never told me what happened between you guys that day, I'll never know."

Sora began to blush, which is something he usually does when we talk about Riku.

I decided to press on. "Why didn't you tell me anyways?"

Sora looked like he was fiddling with his thumbs, which is something he does when he is nervous.

"I don't want to talk about it. Besides," His voice went from very deep to high pitched, which worried me a bit as to what they did in the locker rooms. "I'm seeing you now! Tell me how it is over there! Any cute guys that you met?"

And then it hit my face. I knew I was blushing because I looked away.

"Oh… I want to know _everything_."

Sora always knew when I was having guy trouble, or if there was a guy involved. It's his fucking gift to detect if something is wrong.

"His name is Axel."

"Axel what?" Sora asked right after.

I noticed his hand moving, but I ignored it and continued on.

"I don't know because he's so fucking mysterious. I don't know anything about him and it annoys me so much. I mean, the first day I met him, he insulted me, and then told me that I was a piece of work."

"Ooo, it sounds like he was flirting with you."

"Yeah well, he's a big dickhead." I began to remember just an hour ago, and what happened in the cafeteria. "He told everyone that I made a move on him, and that we got it on."

"Ouch, his cuteness just went down."

"Yeah," I started getting worked up. "But then get this, when I confronted him about it, he just looked me in the eye, and said," And I tried to do my best impression of him when he said this. "_'I'm sorry'_"

I saw Sora's jaw drop.

"I know right? All he said was he was sorry and I'm flipping my shit!"

"No! This guy is fucking hot!"

I looked at Sora confused. "How do you know what he –?"

"Oh my god Roxas, you hit the jackpot!"

And then I realized what he was doing.

"You did not just Face Book stalk Axel."

"I did, and right now I'm looking at all his photos, DAMN!"

"Will you please be a normal human being and just ask me what he looks like?" I almost yelled in embarrassment, covering my hands in my face.

"Whoa, whoa, his hot factor just went up."

I looked up at Sora and he's lurking eyes.

"What." I asked in a one-voice tone.

"He's a writer. Like, almost a legit poet. That or these are really good song lyrics. Hold up." I heard the song of keys being pushed one after another in a steady rhythm. "Yup, these are song lyrics. And they are to _your _favorite band."

I sighed. "You should get paid to stalk people."

Sora shrugged. "Suit yourself. They're Anberlin lyrics."

My eyes went wide. No way does he have Anberlin lyrics as his Face Book statuses. There is no fucking way that is possible. They only time you met someone who knows the band Anberlin is at their concerts, not out in the real world. That is not true.

"See for yourself." Sora puts a link to his Face Book page, and I'm tempted to click on it as fast as I can so I can see that it is true, but I don't.

"I'm not going to Face Book stalk him. That's just ridiculous."

Sora grins. "Oh, the shit he posts on here. I think he wrote one about you."

And then all sense of respect and not stalking people flew out the window. I clicked on that damn link like my life depended on it, and I waited anxiously as his profile came up. The first thing I saw was his picture, which was a full body length of him with a leather jacket on, some skinny ass tight jeans, shades, and then his defied fire red hair sticking up in different places.

My pants felt uncomfortably tight, which was not good because I was going to this guy in just a couple of minutes.

"Um, I don't mean to break up your masturbation moment, but you should scroll down to the third status he posted today."

I remembered that Sora could see me and my staring, so I did as instructed and scrolled down. Sure enough, I saw a post that would make my emotions go crazy.

"_That moment, you took my breath away. Blondie, you have no idea what you've done (;"_

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?" I yelled out. It was the first thing I could process to say. I couldn't understand what I just read, so I re-read, and then re-read again, and then once more. What just happened? I can't even imagine as to if he was referring to me, or some celebrity. I wanted to believe it was me, but I didn't know.

I cleared my throat, and straighten myself on my bed, sitting Indian style.

"I don't know what he is talking about." I told Sora in the calmest tone I could process.

Sora gave me a confused look, and then chuckled right after.

"Oh Roxas, you have it bad for this guy… I want candid picture okay?"

"_Sora? Who are you talking to?" _a voice in the back round was heard. My heart stopped, and I saw Sora clicking away, probably hiding the Skype tag.

"Just a second dad!" I didn't breathe once I heard Sora say who it was. I saw Sora get up and take a shirt from his bed and put it over his preppy collared shirt. He fixed his hair a bit, and then sat back down, as if he was doing homework. I sat back, holding my breath as the word 'Dad' was the last thing I heard. What if Sora gets caught talking to me? What will happen? Oh no…

"Come in." Sora said in the straightest voice he could manage. Sora gave me a glance, and then turned to look at my father coming in.

I saw him enter Sora's room, hands in his pockets, calm, not like how I last remembered him. He walked over to Sora, and glanced at his computer screen.

"What are you up to?" He asked normally.

Sora shrugged. "Homework, that's all."

"You were talking to someone earlier."

"I was talking to myself." Sora tried to look confident in lying to him, but even I could tell he wasn't convincing.

"I heard another person's voice."

My dad was right in front of Sora's computer screen, and I saw my dad face to face for the first time. He wasn't angry; he just looked like how I remembered him before.

"I was pretty sure I heard another person's voice. You're not hiding a girl in the closet are you?"

My jaw dropped, and I had to cover my mouth from snorting of laughter.

"No dad, no girl is here." I saw Sora's face towards me, which almost made me laugh, but I kept it in.

I then saw my Dad leave the computer screen and towards the door. I saw Sora's face, and he mouthed for me to get off. But it was too late.

"Roxas, hurry up!" Riku called from the outside of my door.

It wasn't a second later that I froze, and I heard my dad's voice._ "What the hell –" _My dad's voice increasing, and I quickly sighed off, closing my computer afterwards.

Riku opened my door, and stared at me in the darkness of my room. I didn't even know that he had been that long since I Riku left to go get ready for the party. It must have been an hour or so…

But my thoughts kept going back Sora, and how I left him by himself to handle my dad's wrath. I sighed, and lowered my head, gripping my hair in my hands. What have I done?

"Roxas, are you okay?" Riku asked.

"Ri, I don't want to go, okay? I think I'm just going to sleep. I don't feel too good."

"Roxas, just because Axel said those things doesn't mean everyone –"

"It's not about that. I just want to sleep okay? It's been a long day."

I heard Riku sigh, and then tell me "Okay, goodnight."

And then I pushed my computer off my bed, putting it on the floor, and pulling the covers on me, closing my eyes. It scared me to think what happened to Sora, and I hoped for him to text me, or call that he was okay. I needed to know that he was okay. I just laid there, thinking what happened after.

Then, my hope of relief came. My phone vibrated somewhere in my covers, and it scared me. I search nervously around for it, and once I found it, I saw that it was from my mom. My heart raced, but I quickly opened the text.

_Hi sweetie. I wanted to let you know Sora's fine. He made up something that he recorded your voice so that he could hear it often. Your father believed it, but then took away his phone for the rest of the night. I knew you would be worried about him so that's why I'm texting you. Sora says that he will talk to you tomorrow. I hope you're safe, and well. I love you honey, and have a good night's sleep. Talk to you soon._

_P.S. I would like to hear more about this boy (: Good night._

I cried. I fucking cried, and I wasn't ashamed of it. Sora was alright, so everything was alright in the world. I curled up in my bed, and hugged my phone. It was at this moment I appreciated my mother, and all that she did for me and my brother. I loved so much, and I wanted to talk to her so badly.

With shaking hands, I texted back to her, saying that I'm fine, and that I love both her and Sora, and that I'd tell her about Axel when I find out myself. I pressed send, and cried once again.

It wasn't a moment later, that my door flung open, and I looked up to find Riku back in my doorway.

"Roxas, I just want to let you know that –"

I think the sound of my sob frightened him, and it didn't take him another second to walk over to me, and hug me. He didn't ask about anything, or as to why I was crying. All he did was hug me, and rub my back, telling me that everything was going to be fine.

* * *

><p>Riku stayed with me that night. Out of the rules we put out, he slept on the floor. I woke up that morning and smiled to myself, as I was in the presence of a true friend. One thing I know now was that Riku was a light sleeper, so when I got out of bed, he woke up right after. I told it was fine, and that he needed to go back to bed. He nodded in his daze, and did so, falling back asleep. I quietly grabbed my towel, and walked over to the showers. I didn't even know what time it was, but I still wanted to keep quiet. I put my stuff in a cubby, and my towel on the shower door. My shaking hands turned on the water, and as I was waiting for the water to get a bit warmer, I started taking off my clothes. A moment later I took off my shirt, I heard the door creak open. I freaked out, and looked quickly to the door to see who it was. All I saw was the door slightly moving, and that was enough to scare me. I then waited a moment to continue on with my pants, but then I didn't want to risk it. I reached my hand out to feel the water, and when I decided to go in, I quickly took off my pajama pants and went into the shower. When I felt it was safe, I took off my boxers, and dropped them outside of the shower door.<p>

That rest of my morning shower felt so uncomfortable. I constantly had to look over my back to see if anyone was there. When I heard the door open, I had to keep telling myself that it was probably the time where all the other guys woke up and took showers. I being a fucking early bird just took a shower early. I finished my shower, and then quickly got my towel and went straight to my cubby to get my shit, and get out of that damn restroom.

I literally ran to my room, probably waking up Riku as I did. I panted, and Riku caught my eye as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. I took this moment to go to my closet and change as quickly as possible.

"Good Morning." Riku said in a deep tone. He probably just woke up.

"Hey." I said out of breath.

I heard Riku get up, get his things, and walk to the door.

"We'll get breakfast in a sec; I just got to shower first."

And then he left. I let out a sigh that I was apparently holding, and I fell to the ground, naked. I had no idea what just happened, but God knows if that happens again, I'm not going to shower in that place again. I'll clean that stupid bathroom if it kills me. There is no way I'm going back into that shower place.

After a quick breakfast, I race back to my dorm room to get ready to clean that shit hole. By this time everyone knows I'm cleaning it, and I don't give a fuck what they think. My response back to it is "Hey, another free bathroom." Of course after I said this, many of the guys stay quiet, and jut carry on with what they are doing. While on the way back, Riku and I were cornered by none other than Axel.

"Hey there Blondie," Hey, it's better than being called 'Roxy' or my own name. Those words just do wonders to my emotions. "Why weren't you at the kickback yesterday?" His smile made me want to punch his face in, yet I wanted to smile back.

I gave him a serious look, and continued on walking with Riku.

"Roxas!" I heard him call to me.

"Don't look back Roxas." Riku whispered to me. "Just keep walking."

And did such a thing; I kept walking, ignoring my name being called and the close footsteps that followed. It was when my arm was being pulled back ever so gently, yet with a bit of force that I was forced to look into his eyes; Those big damn green forest like eyes.

"Roxas, are you okay?" Axel asked in his tone that makes me rethink everything that is right.

No! I most certainly am not okay! You ruin everything! Well, not everything, but…

"I don't like you." I say softly.

I see his eyes grow big, and then a smile forms on his face, indicating that I pleased him for the day. I noticed what I had just said, and think to myself that I can never let that happen again.

I begin to walk back to the direction I was heading, but then Axel steps right in front of me, still smiling.

"You were thinking about me, huh?" He asks in a low tone.

What is this guy, a fucking mind reader? Great, now even my thoughts aren't safe.

"Oh Roxy," Axel started speaking in his tone, taking steps forward to me, making me walk backwards. "I come up in your head a lot don't I? I seem to have that effect of people."

"Will you just leave me alone?" I ask in a soft tone. I felt my cheeks flushing, but I ignored it. Right now, even though he was super amazing gorgeous right now harassing me, I felt my body tensing, and it was something that seemed almost similar to what I experienced with Hayner.

"What got you thinking about me again?"

A group of guys laughed from the bushes where Axel stood before.

"Axel, can you go dick around with someone else?" Riku came in. I bet he saw my face, and that he knew that I was about to get furious.

"Why? So I can leave you with my precious Blondie here? No-way."

I felt my body tensing all over, and know I knew that I was about to explode on Axel. I felt my thought clearing away, and I all I knew was that I wanted to go back to my dorm, and get other things done. But, no, of course this asshole has to be right in front of me, gawking at me with his enormous eyes, and big stupid smile. I felt my feeling towards him go away, because no I knew that I would never ever go out with someone like him. It was fucking ridiculous.

"So Roxy, wanna answer my question?" He pressed on.

I looked at him, and it took everything I had to walk away and not leave him with a broken nut.

"Hey Roxas, I'm asking you something!"

And the moment he grabbed my arm was the moment I realized that I was done.

My instincts came in, and I pushed his chest. I saw the expression on his face, and it was pure shock. The people around us stood silent, and they waited for what was to happen next.

"You," I started, and I pointed at him while I spoke. "Do not fucking touch me ever again."

Axel was still shocked, and he just stood there, jaw open.

I looked at him, admiring him for one last time, and began walking away. I felt Riku's astonishment, but I ignored it. We both knew something was going to happen if Axel had said anything else. Hell, it would have been a Hayner repeat situation.

Riku and I walked back to our building safely. Axel didn't follow us after, and I'm glad he didn't. It's only been two fucking days that I've been here, and I already liked/hated the same person. It brought comfort to myself that I was starting to notice when I was about to lose my temper. That way, I don't accidently kill people when I am on my rampage.

I threw myself on my bed, leaving Riku to stand up and watch me.

"You have to explain yourself." He flatly stated.

I shrugged. "Explain about what?"

"Um, let's see here." He walked around the room as if he was thinking really hard, but I knew he was being sarcastic. "Oh yeah! Explain how you were crying all night, and that I had to stay here with you! Oh, and let's not forget what just happened 10 minutes ago. Oh how could I forget that! You went off on Axel, which I applaud you for doing so." Riku lifted his hands in the air, and then began speaking. "I mean, are you on your rag?"

I sighed, and laid on my back. "Last night I was talking to Sora on Skype."

I saw Riku's face light up. He was about to speak, but I didn't let him.

"May I remind you that I have not seen or heard him for a whole fucking day? My own brother, Riku, and you got to talk to him before I did. How do you think that made me feel?" Riku looked away from me, and put a strand of hair away from his face. I lifted my hands, and rested them on the back of my head. "My dad came in on the web chat and he almost got caught talking to me. He's okay now, but it just freaked me out to think that something might have happened to him because of me."

Riku shoved his hands in his pockets. "Roxas I had no idea."

"And I thank you for not questioning me about it. So, thanks."

Riku smiled at me. "Anytime bro."

We stayed quiet for another second, and then I saw him begin to speak, which indicated the change of topic. Here we go.

"Axel's a dick. I've just come to now realize this."

"Yeah, well Roxas you shouldn't have pushed him. You don't what he is capable of doing."

I pointed a finger to my face. "Does it look like I give a fuck?"

Riku chuckled, but then continued. "You should. You don't know what he did to get here."

I sat up on my bed. "Let me guess, he robbed a bank?"

Riku shook his head. "It's even worse."

My face got serious, and for a second I was concerned for him. But then I quickly stopped feeling sorry for him, and continued being mad.

"Well I don't care. He keeps harassing me, and I don't like it."

"That's Axel; you just have to learn how to deal with it."

"Well, I hope he knows that I don't want to mess around with him. Besides, look what he did to me on my first day here!"

Riku gave me a weird glance. "Technically, your first day doesn't start until tomorrow. But Roxas you have to know that all of that was for fun."

And then it struck me. "Why are you defending him?"

Riku looked like he tensed, and that he was suddenly caught with something. His expression stayed that way until a moment later when my door flung open. To my utter shock, it was Axel, breathless, and still in a state of shock.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Riku spoke quickly. "But all I know is that you like him and then you pushed him, which wasn't a very wise thing to do."

"What the hell is he going to do?"

Riku stayed quiet. "Fine, find out on yourself. But next time when you get the urge to push him, don't say I didn't warn you."

* * *

><p>Riku's warning still stayed in my head as I got ready to finish the other half of the shower. I didn't want anyone to know that I was cleaning the restroom, so the door was kept closed. My arms were sore, and I was beginning to sweat. The heat of the water was getting a bit too hot, so I had no choice but to take of the shirt I was wearing. I took a moment to admire my muscles, or lack of muscles, and I shrugged. I need to hit the gym, because the flabbiness I was looking at right now was not at all attractive. I began cleaning on the last shower in the restroom. It was just this one, and then I would be finished. For some reason I had not seen Zexion or Demyx at all. My thoughts began to wonder about if those too were going together. It made me laugh to think that they would ever be together. It would never happen.<p>

The last spec of grime was a bitch to get off. It was like glued to the tile. Okay yeah, but I mean come 'on, who the fuck doesn't at least keep up the hygiene of a restroom? That's just ridiculous.

I took a moment to relax my arms because they were aching like crazy. I tried to breathe in fresh air, but all I got was chemicals into my lungs. I didn't really care at this moment. Maybe I should get a good high right now…. Besides, I've had a long weekend filled with crazy shit.

I started breathing in all the chemicals that was in the air: CLR, Windex, Clorox, and anything else that was in the air. I felt my head to become a bit dizzy, and I was thinking I was losing it too because I could have sworn I heard the door open. If you get high this easily on chemicals, then I should keep this in mind.

I was pretty sure I was high when I saw the shower door open, and I saw a person sticking their head into the shower. The heat and mist of the shower didn't allow me to see the face that was lurking in. I could picture the state I was in: Standing in the shower, chest exposed, hair all wet, and clothes soaked. May I remind you that when your clothes are wet, _everything_ is exposed, even things that are _under _your clothes? Yeah, okay.

I blinked my eyes a few times, and then moved my hands around in front of me to blow away the mist. Now, I officially knew I was high when I saw those big fucking green eyes staring right back at me. Now I'm hallucinating because I'm thinking about a hot steamy dream of Axel. It's always a hot sexy dream when steam is involved; it's like the dream logic.

Like an idiot, I kept waving my arms around, as if telling him to go away. It was when I touched him that I realized I'm not hallucinating.

He was the real deal.

He is really there in the shower.

He is really coming in the shower to look me in the eye.

I suddenly felt all my senses come back, and this was the moment I took to realize that I wasn't fucking high, I was thinking too much.

"I should punish you for pushing me in front of everyone." He spoke softly, but loud enough for me to hear under the rushing water.

I swallowed hard, and looked at him. "See if I care." I tried sounding menacing, but it came out as a little boy trying to sound tough.

Axel smiled his wicked smile. "Oh Roxy, I love seeing you try to be all bad."

All my shit was flipped when Axel stepped into the shower, making me step into the water. The hot water stung my back, but at this moment I didn't care. All I knew was that this was the closest I've ever been to Axel, and it freaked me the hell out.

No, correction; it didn't freak me out, it turned me on.

"I'm not scared of you –"

"Oh, yes you are." He spoke in the voice that would turn my legs into jelly. "Now, I'm going to tell you what I do to boys who try to mess with me."

His face leaned in closer to mine, and I held my breathe. _"I mess with them back..."_

The next thing I knew was Axel leaning in closer towards my face. The only emotion that was able to function properly was fear, which took over my reaction. Hell, it took over everything in me. Instead of standing there like any normal person would when they are about to be kissed, I fucking slip on a flat surface and fall ass first into the ground. Want to know the worst part? I grab onto Axel as I fall down.

My bottom is throbbing, and I try not to show my pain, but I couldn't help. The only thing that made the situation better was Axel laughing in the background. I catch his face, and he is laughing hysterically that his whole face turns red. I crack a smile, and lift myself up with my hands holding me up. He looks at me with a smile that was genuine, and it suited him more than the wicked smile he usually gives me. It then became quiet and serious seconds later. Axel's eyes were only focused on my lips, as was mine. He lifted himself up, for what I thought at first was a movement to take off his shirt. Instead, he opens his legs to settle one in between my legs, and one on the outside. He then lowers his body down onto me, his chest touching mine. I felt him move forward a bit, creating just the slightest friction. But holy hell that friction drove me wild. His face then began to linger along with mine. Not once did his lips touched my face, but just ghosted around it. He then stopped and looked me straight into the eye, having me to look back at him.

Axel took one last shaky breath, and he leaned his face towards me. This was it. I was about to kiss Axel in a fucking shower. From the looks of it, we were just going to do more than just kiss in the shower. This was the moment I thought I would lose my virginity in a shower, the deadliest place to have sex. To why this is true I will never know, but what I do know is Axel is about to kiss me.

And right when I think he does, something happens.

"Roxas!" Riku calls from the outside of the hall. "Hey Roxas?"

Axel sighs and his breath lingers on my face, which leaves me with eyes wide open trying to process a single thought. He then lowers his head to the side on my neck, and bangs the wall behind me. He gives me one last look, and then lifts himself up and leaves.

Just like that. As if nothing happened.

That dick.

"Roxas?" Riku's voice echoes throughout the bathroom.

I try and catch my breath, and my mind goes off and processes everything that has just happened.

What kind of person does that? Be a total jerk, then seduce you through voice, and then actually tries to seduce you in a fucking shower, then just straight up leaves? Axel was becoming mysterious by the minute, and now it was pissing me off.

"Roxas, are you okay?" Riku asks me.

I'm still shocked myself, but manage to answer him as calmly as I could.

"I honestly don't know anymore."


	3. First Day

I. AM. SO. SORRY.

There is no excuse as to why this is so overdue. All I can do is send my apologies.

I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and again I am so sorry that it took this long to get this posted on here.

**Disclaimer**: Do not own Characters.

* * *

><p>I was sitting down in a field, probably an open meadow or the nearest park; I always get those two confused. It was around noontime, which made the sky turn an odd orange color. It blinded my eyes a bit, but it still looked damn pretty. Adele filled my ears as her voice serenaded me into a depressed mood. I let out a sigh trying to hold back tears from showing because damn it, that's just what Adele's music does.<p>

_Oh friend, why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back… Or hide from your light._

I got myself thinking about Hayner every time I listen to Adele. My actual human emotions felt sorry for him, and how horrible of a person I was to him. There's no excuse for almost killing him because he had sex with my arch nemesis. I finally understand why he went to Seifer in the first place. But how could he have not known that I loved him? Or, at least felt something strong for him. The wind brushed back my locks, and I was forced to close my eyes as the soft, gentle piano played, and I began whispering the next lyrics.

_Never mind I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too._

I felt movement in front of me, which made me open my eyes quickly. My eyes stared straight into long, jean covered legs. I didn't dare to look up because I just knew who it was just by looking at the legs. I let out a sigh, out of relief and annoyance: Annoyance, because this little bitch is annoying, and I wish he would just leave me the fuck alone. Relief, because he is the only person actually making me forget about Hayner, and moving on with my stupid, pathetic, confused life. I swear it could be only this guy who can make me forget about Hayner, and all his stupid shit.

Axel sat down next to me, letting out a breath as he sat. He was a bit closer to me than usual. It's funny, because now that you think about it he has been coming closer to me more and more. Not that I mind, but I just thought it was a funny thought.

Aha.

"What's on your mind Blondie?" he asked in a deep voice.

I shrugged, and so willingly and so normal, I responded back with, "You."

I slowly turned my head back to Axel, who was already looking towards my way. His eyebrow did that weird thing where it raises, stays there, and then comes down quickly. He looked away for a brief moment, letting out a sigh.

"I'm trouble kid." He answered back. "You don't want to get involved with me."

I had no idea what came over me. It was as if whatever I felt I did, which is something that I do not do. Well, something I do not_ usually_ do.

I leaned forward towards Axel, making me about an inch away from my face to his.

"I don't mind the trouble."

I smiled a smile that was usually something he would give me, and placed my hand on the back of his head. I pulled him forward to my face, and let my lips do the rest. There was no hesitation once my lips touched his, everything was happening on its own. I had no control over anything whatsoever. And you want to know the most awesome part of it all?

I didn't give one flying fuck.

I immediately pushed him down into the grass, and sat above him. I forced a bit of friction, but I was more focused on where I was touching him, and how I was kissing him. Axel made no movement to push me off, or to stop anything. On the contrary, he hands were placed on my hips, trying to get more friction going on. I left his mouth a quick second to leave a trail of kisses down his face to his chest. I heard a long sigh, and it was more of a sigh of content, which made me smile. His long hands trailed up my back making me shiver a bit because his hands were so cold. He smiled, and motioned me to continue whatever I was doing. I felt his hands roam around my back and chest. I sighed as he began to squeeze my hips, which sounded weird, but it felt so good.

"_Roxas…"_ he whispered my name, _"I want you…"_

Those are deadly words. I know because I've said it to Hayner plenty of times. Wanting someone leads to sex, and that's what I wanted from Hayner. Hayner kept coming to my mind, and all I could think about was what he was doing, how he was doing, what has happened to him while I was gone.

"_Roxas…"_

I suddenly found myself caressing Hayner in a way that I've never caressed him before. I backed away, leaving just an inch of space between us. I was breathing down on him, and I towered over him. He sat up, his arms still wrapped around me. He smiled his cute little boy smile, and began pulling me closer. I laid on top of him, placing my fingers on his face, my breath lingering around his face.

"_Take me…"_ he said.

I hesitated, and suddenly remembering everything that happened. My eyes widened as I felt him take off my pants, and I felt my whole body panicking.

I sat up in my bed, having difficulty breathing. My hand was placed on my heart, and I felt the beats of my heart, its fast tempo scaring me even more. I heard the sound of Adele coming from my iHome, which happened to be what I woke up to every morning. I grabbed my phone from the night stand, checking the time. My eyes began to adjust from the light as I read the time. Four in the fucking morning, and I have a wet dream about Axel and my ex. Oh grateful joy.

I figured after a dream like that, I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. I got up, grabbed my things and took a quick shower in the new and improved restroom in which I cleaned. Also, in which Axel almost raped me in. In fact, I was heading into the same shower in which we had our encounter. I thought about it, and shrugged it off.

The hot water hit my face, which was refreshing and relaxing. My thoughts came back to my dream. I wondered why I have got myself thinking about Hayner. Why was I thinking about him if everything is done and over with? I don't know if deep down I still felt something for him, or I felt sorry for him. I just knew that I had a dream about seducing Axel, which then turned into Hayner seducing me.

I took a shower, taking about 20 minutes. I turned the water off, and rested my head against the tiles. I softly banged my head against the wall, but making sure I wasn't making too much noise. I sighed, and closed my eyes. I wasn't ready for today. I didn't want to go experience my first day of school after having that dream.

I knew I had to get out of the shower, so I quickly wrapped my towel around my waist and headed off to my room. The morning weather kissed my skin, which made me want to go into my room even more. I fiddled with my doorknob, but it wouldn't budge. I began to panic, realizing that I was just locked out of my room, even though I'm the only living here. I could have sworn that I left it open just a bit so I would just swing it open without twisting the knob. I sighed in frustration, and rested my head on the door. I just locked myself out of my room, on the first day of school, and a towel is the only thing I'm wearing. You're fucking kidding me.

"Well good morning Blondie." A voice echoed down the hall.

I turned my head quickly towards the voice, my heart beating faster because I know exactly who that voice is.

"Oh, did you get locked out of room?" Axel cooed in his voice that made my skin shiver from down the hall. "Tsk tsk, maybe you should have a roommate to let you in."

"Oh, I need a roommate?" I began to talk. "Is that you're way of suggesting yourself as one?"

"Why Roxas," Axel walked up to me. "How thoughtful of you, but sadly I'm taken by Demyx. But maybe I can convince him to move in with his lover Zexion so they can finally get it over with it."

"I was only kidding Axel…" I leaned on my door.

Axel took one step forward closer to me, his breath lingering on my face. His big green eyes were watching me, up and down. A smiled crossed his face as he lifted his hand and placed it on my door, leaning forward. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he was holding it back because of something else. All he did was smile and fiddled with some piece of my hair that was sticking up. I tried not to look into his eyes because I knew my towel would 'accidently' fall. This man could make many unexplainable things happen around me. I just now came to realize this.

My senses started to come back, and I took this moment to realize that I wasn't going to be his damsel in distress anymore. I wanted him to see me for what I truly am. He needed to know that I can be an asshole too.

"Well if you want to be my roommate so badly, why don't you be a man and ask me yourself? Ditch the blonde; besides he'll probably room with Zexion and then there you are, roommate-less." I lifted a brow for dramatic affect. I can be a very persuasive person.

Axel smiled his wicked smile, and one more took a step closer to me. He exposed his beautiful pearls, and he breathed lightly on my face. I got a big whiff of his fresh toothpaste that he just brushed his teeth with, which was weird yet attractive at the same time. I licked my lips softly and just thought about how his toothpaste tasted like. Maybe he's a mint kind of guy, or what about flavored kind? I hope it isn't fruit.

What the hell am I thinking? You know, this is why I am most defiantly not a morning person; I think about shit like how Axel's toothpaste tastes like in his mouth.

"So what I'm getting here is that you want to be my roommate Blondie?" Axel placed his arm on the door, and I was now trapped. I both enjoyed this and feared this at the same time.

Before I had time to answer back with anything, he smiled, and leaned in closer to my face. "I'm going to hold you to that." He then backed away from me, which made me sigh in depression as I now felt the morning air attack my bare chest. "See you later Roxy."

I watched him as he walked off, and with that my heart was well. Yeah, Axel has taken my heart, whoop-de-fucking-do. This guy needs to know what he does to me…

* * *

><p>I eventually got into my room because Axel found the room attendant for me (he has his moments, which I learned after this). I got ready for my first day of class and once I was finished, I walked over to Riku's dorm. I knocked on his door, and not a second passed that he opened it, and came out of his room with the biggest smile. I began to wonder what would make him smile so early in the morning, but I stopped myself and thought that maybe my brother may have to do with this.<p>

"Well good morning good sir." I greeted.

Riku sighed in content, and smiled at me. "Good morning Roxas."

"What has got you so filled with joy?" I dared to ask anyway, even though I know perfectly well.

Riku clapped his hands, and we began walking down the hall to our first class. On the way he explained how Sora would be visiting soon. I found this shocking at first, and realized that he wasn't coming to see me, but then I knew that if he did come visit me it will only be to see Riku. Yeah, it bothered me a bit, but I knew that he made Sora happy, and that's all I want for my baby brother.

"You better treat him with respect." I warned him. "If I find out that you even touched him and he didn't want you to, I swear Ri I'll kick you so hard that you'll feel it where the sun don't shine."

Riku stopped and gave me look. He then laughed, which made me laugh because I just realize what I just said didn't make sense. "Okay Roxas, whatever you say. And relax." Riku told me. "I wouldn't do that to him." He let his reply linger for a bit, and then he was going to continue, but I stopped him from saying anything else.

"In other news," I began a new topic of conversation. "Axel saw me half naked."

Riku stopped me with his arms, and pulled me back. I looked at him, and he had the biggest smile on his face.

"You dirty slut." He said.

I pushed him off me and began to smile as well. "It wasn't even like that. He caught me when I just got of the shower."

Riku lifted his hands in the air. "You were wet too? Oh Roxas, Axel would have fucked you right then and there."

"Will you please shut up and let me finish?" I started laughing. "I got locked out of my room and he came to help me."

Riku gave me a raised brow and shook his head. "I bet that's not all he wanted to do."

"Oh God, Ri you're such a pervert. Anyways, he just talked to me about roommates and he mentioned that he should be my roommate."

"Wait-wait-wait, pause, I thought you didn't want anything to do with this guy, and now you want him as a roommate?"

I shrugged and answered truthfully. "Yeah, I do."

Riku raised a brow, and let go of his grip on me. "Well shit then."

We laughed together as we walked into our first class. Riku took a seat around the middle of the classroom, and being the lost puppy that I was, I just sat next to him. I began looking around the room, trying to figure out what kind of atmosphere it's like. There were many pictures of different places in the world; Paris, England, Peru, Ireland, Russia, and many other places. They looked like professionally taken photographs, which intrigued me even more. As I looked around the room, I found that it wasn't decorated as much with colorful things, but colors that made the pictures stand out. It's nice to know that I'll have a good stuff to look at when I get bored of this class.

"So this class is pretty much kickback." Riku began. "Not a lot of people are in this class, so the teacher is basically talking to no one."

"When you say kickback, do you mean Mr. Xaldin kickback?" I asked.

"No, this is nothing like Mr. X. He seriously let you do nothing in his class. You could pop a joint and wouldn't get caught. No this guy just lets you do whatever you want, but nothing to that extreme."

I sat back in my seat, letting my feet stretch over to the next seat in front of me. I swung my arms on the back of my head and smiled. "Sounds like a Mr. X class to me."

Riku shoved me, and smiled.

The teacher walked in, or whom I assumed to be the teacher. He had this essence of just wanting to be pushed over by the 10 kids in the class. I smiled and thought about how much fun it is going to be in this class. I looked over at Riku, and he mouthed something like "Go easy on him." Please, of course. I will be an angel in this class.

"Good Morning despicable children of the world please do not make so much noise."

He took a seat. This was my chance to take not of what kind of person his really is. He had long blonde hair, and his bangs straightened up, and then back down to the sides of his forehead. His big eyes were a shade of light green, and his facial expression was just plain sad. Poor soul…

I got up from my seat and walked over to his desk. I had my transcript in my hand, and I smiled over his at his desk.

"Hi!" I said more happily than usual. The teacher jumped, and he looked up fast. His big eyes were even wider, and once he made eye contact with me, annoyance came on his face. He simply lifted a brow toward me and went off with his business.

I wanted his attention, so I cleared my throat once again, and straightened my papers on his desk. He glanced away from the book he seemed to be reading, and gave me a huge glare. Right away he noticed that I was a different student, set the book down. He raised his hand and took off his glasses. His eyes seemed to travel up and down from my face to my clothes. If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn that he was checking me out, which is kind of gross because he looked like 50 years old.

He said nothing else, and made a motion with his hand to give him my transcript and papers. I smiled and did such.

"So, your name is Roxas Rogers." He snorted with no expression. "No relation to Mr. Rogers I presume?"

I still kept my smile, but I was now annoyed. "No, no relation."

He sniffed his nose and read through the papers. I left standing there smiling for about 2 minutes, which felt like forever to me. Time was never really my friend.

"Well Mr. Rogers, my name is Mr. Vexen, and welcome to U.S. History."

"Roxas, I prefer Roxas." I corrected.

"Well I prefer Mr. Rogers. Please, have a seat and we'll begin shortly."

I walked away from his desk, even more annoyed. I slammed my papers on my desk, and sat. I crossed my arms and glared at Mr. Vexen. What a huge dickwad.

"Hey, take it easy. He's always like this. You just have to calm yourself, and get used to the class."

Riku's words were sort of appealing. We did nothing for the rest of the class, so I guess it was something I could get used to easily. Every class that I went to seemed to be right next door. Each class had something wrong with it; either the teacher was a bitch, or the class was just too prissy, or it was a sad excuse for a class. I had one last class left before lunch, and it was English. Secretly, I always liked English. There was a time that I wrote kick-ass poetry. I had no idea why I stopped, but I know I was good at it.

I walked into the class and noticed how there were only 5 students. However, I happened to know one of them, but I wish didn't. He made eye contact with me, and smiled his huge wicked grin. He stretched out his arms, which expanded to both ends of the seats next to him because they were that damn long. I sighed, and closed my eyes, hoping he would disappear or something. I opened them once more to find him right in front of me, smiling like some stalker meeting his victim for the first time. I pushed past him and took a seat in the corner of the class. To my surprise he sat right next to me.

"Aw come 'on Roxy, you're gonna be like that?" Axel spoke in a soft cooing voice.

For a second I received chills, but I brushed them off, and sat up, moving to another seat. Of course, Axel followed and sat next to me. Not a second passed that I got and moved to the middle of the room. Axel then followed and sat. I then moved once again and sat where I once began. When I didn't see him around me, I sighed.

"I'm getting the feeling that you don't like me." His voice crept from behind me. "But I mean correct me if I'm wrong."

I turned around and smiled. "No. You are most defiantly not wrong."

Silence broke between us and it quickly became awkward. I wanted him to keep talking, even though I also wanted him to go take a hike. I both liked and hated Axel at the same time, which was weird because I never do have mixed feeling for someone, or for anyone for that matter.

"So Roxas," Axel began. I figured there was no use of getting rid of him so he might as well just stay there. Plus, I liked the company. "What you say about me and you as roommates?"

I smirked towards Axel, which made him smirk back. Damn, I can never win with him.

Everyone's attention focused on the teacher who came into the room, and he quickly went to the chalkboard to write something.

"I'll tell you what," I spoke in barely a whisper as I kept my eye on the teacher. "I'll think about it."

Axel perked up. "Really?" His eyes were big like a cute puppy that got a new toy. I couldn't help but get lost in them.

I managed to focus back in reality. "Yes, I'll think about."

We leaned back into our seats and waited for the teacher to finish writing on the board.

* * *

><p>Riku found me after lunch, and sense we both didn't have a 5th period after lunch, we went back to the dorm. I began to tell Riku about how Axel's proposal was brought up once more.<p>

"Wow, he must really want to get in your pants."

I shoved Riku away from me, making him trip and almost land in a bush. He laughs as he continues to walk with me.

"Well I'm just saying that he must really like you if he wants to be your roommate. Usually, he would just trick them into getting into bed with him."

I stopped walking because my heart leaped. I reached for Riku's arm, and I didn't breathe. I had to keep rethinking what I was going to say because my thoughts were going back to what Riku just said; _'Them'_, as in 'more than one.' He has tried to get at more than one boy than me, and he actually slept with them. I knew he was this type of person, but for some reason it hurt so much to know there were others.

"He," I stopped to breathe once again. "There were others?"

Riku looked at me smiling, not realizing that I was serious about this. He caught my expression, and quickly felt sympathy.

"He likes to play with his boys before he breaks them."

"Meaning, what exactly?" I dared to ask.

"He doesn't really like them. He's just looking for a good fuck."

My fist began to clutch, and my anger was ready to burst out. Immediately I tried to find something I could break. I looked away from Riku and focused my attention elsewhere. Sadly elsewhere was _him_ walking up the path and catching my eye. I watched him as he wore his stupid yet hot sunglasses that hid his beautiful emerald eyes. I guess he didn't notice Riku and me, and he kept advancing his own way.

"Hey Rox, I didn't mean to upset you, I was just telling you what kind of person he is.

I held my tears back and approached Axel. My conscience was telling that what have I got to talk to him about? All of this was pointless, and you're still going to end up hurt. However, my integrity was telling me to give him a piece of my mind because he needed to hear it. Fuck my conscience right now. I needed to make him pay.

I walked over to him, trying to think of something to say to him as I did. Suddenly a force pulled me back and I was pushed into a bush. I began to squirm in annoyance, but then a hand covered my mouth in doing so. I looked to see who the idiot was, and by no surprise it was Riku. He was looking out to see if the see if Axel had gone away. The next 2 minutes was the longest minutes of my life. That bitch took forever to pass by! I was ready to punch Riku in the ribs and walk up to Axel but Riku kept me hidden in the bush until he was a good 10 feet away.

I pushed Riku more into the bush as I tried getting out of it.

"What the hell was that for? I now have scratches all over my arms and my face."

"Just what exactly we're you planning to say to him huh?" Riku continued to whisper my way even though Axel had passed. "Look from what I understand is that you are crushing on this guy, hard. Why do you keep pushing him away?"

"I don't know!" My anger began building up once more. "I have no fucking idea why I like this asshole!"

Riku stayed quiet as he looked at me shocked. It wasn't until Riku I realized that I was holding Riku by his shirt while I was pulling him out of the bush. I quickly let go of his shirt and walked away from him. Riku was calling me, but I ignored him. I didn't want to listen to anything else about Axel. I just wanted peace and quiet for once, nothing to bother me anymore.

"Roxas!"

"Get the fuck away from me Riku!"

I kept walking but he pulled me back and then I stood frozen as I was looking into big forest green eyes.

"Hey." He greeted with a wondrous smile. "You and Riku are fighting?"

I gasped, because I didn't know what I was to say. I just found out that Axel had more than one infatuation rather than me. I don't know why I was making a big deal like I had just found out that he was cheating on me. Burgh! Pull it together Roxas! You're better than this. Alright, whatever happens, make him know that you don't care about his significant others.

"Roxas?" He asked again. "You okay?"

"You're a whore."

Well so much for that.

Axel lifted a brow. "I'm sorry?"

"Why are you trying to get at me? Why am I someone you're suddenly interested in?"

Axel shoved his hands in his pockets and breathed out deeply, creating a small white puff.

"Because I have a crush on you?" he answered simply.

And yet because it was so simply put it made me so pissed for some reason. I was so pissed at how annoy he was yet how attractive he is. It pissed me off that I'm not the first person he would have had sex with. I mean, yeah that isn't something I couldn't control, but damn it pissed me off so much.

"Roxas," Axel began speaking as I was thinking intently which also pissed me off. "Why don't you give yourself a break and go out with me once and for all. A new band is playing just around the block from the school and I would like you to come with me."

"No." I flat out said. I have no idea why the fuck I said no, I wanted to say 'only if we go to your place afterwards' but I couldn't say it for some stupid reason that I was trying to make up! I'm a fucking hot mess…

Axel smiled, leaning in closer a few moments later. "Well then I guess I'm going to force you to come then huh? Relieve yourself from all this stress you're putting on yourself."

"But, all those guys…" I began to whimper now. He has me _whimpering_ now. Fucking asshole…

"Were in the past, and they're not coming back anytime soon. Roxas let me take out, please."

I gave him a glare, a very long glare. I was still so very mad at him for reasons that I don't even know.

"Stop trying to be mad at me for every little thing I do. So what if I fucked over some guys, it's just what I do."

And that was it. I had found my one reason to stay away from him. I didn't even have to look any more.

"Well I don't want that to happen to me." I spoke through gritted teeth. "So leave me the fuck alone."

"Roxas, come 'on." He reached for my arm, but a pulled it away from him.

"Stay away from me."

And that was the last thing I said to Axel. I began to walk away trying not to punch something but then yet another force pulled me back.

Axel pushed up against the nearest wall and he held onto one shoulder as he pointed his finger at me.

"Now let's get something straight here Roxas." His voice wasn't calm at all. It sounded more of like how a villain sounded when confronting his enemy, and I guess right now I'm that enemy.

"I kind of like you, like a lot. Now, I just asked you out, which is something I normally don't do. I even invited you to be my roommate for next semester, which is something I will _never_ do. And now you're turning me down flat? Bullshit. I know you have something for me and I think you're too much of a pussy too admit it because of shit that went down at your old school."

"That' not –" I began speaking, also pushing forward to get away from his grip.

But Axel slammed me back into the wall, and pointed his long boney finger at me once more.

"I'm not finished. Now continue to listen or things will happen."

"Or what?" I asked, adding pins in my words.

Axel chuckled. "You don't scare me midget, not one bit. Now if you will please allow me to continue?"

My anger began to build up as I let Axel continue.

"Now naturally, I would do anything to get my boy, but for some reason, I don't just want to sleep you. I want to get to know you."

"Touching". I tried to hide my emotions, but inside I just wanted to wrap my arms around him, and have him kiss me like in the shower. Fuck that actually happened… And I want shit like that to happen more often between me and him.

"Roxas stop trying to be big a bad because one, you're not even big enough to be 5 feet tall, and second, you being bad is like a puppy trying to be fierce. So cut the act, and just be you."

I leaned in closer to Axel, smirking as did. "Let me go."

Axel closed the distance between us just by an inch so that we were now we shared the same air. "No."

I tried not to lose the expression on my face, but something inside me made all my anger go away, and soon I felt myself blushing.

Axel smiled, and began to flutter his eyes back and forth towards my eyes and lips.

"That's more like it..." He whispered.

I sighed, and then not a second later Axel let go his grip of me and pulled me into a kiss. All sense of being bad melted away as Axel picked me up and pushed more into the wall. Unlike the almost kiss in the shower, he had a longer period of time to kiss me, and he took advantage of that. He began to pick up the pace as he held my face into his, tasting every inch of my mouth. I hadn't really done this in a while, but I tried to keep up with him. I placed my arms around him and hoisted my legs up so I could wrap them also around them around him as well. Axel smiled into the kiss, and began to hold me up as he touched my ass.

I began laughing because it felt so weird, which made him laugh because instead of kissing me he missed and kissed thin air. The suddenly he leaned backwards, and he fell on his back, me on top of him. We continued to laugh afterwards, finding everything funny. Axel sat up, and when I made the motion to get off him he pulled me back down and made me sit on him.

"So Roxy," he began as he fiddled with a piece of my hair. "How about that concert?"

I smiled, and began to thinking about what I had that might interfere. I really didn't have anything at all. I just wanted to make that big dramatic pause in which makes Axel worry that I won't be able to make it.

"I'll see if I have anything planned."

"Bullshit," he smiled cutely. "Bologna and you know it."

I laughed, which made him smile even bigger.

"You are such a cutie. Quit the bad boy act because I like you just like this."

"What, you mean on top of you?"

Axel laughed as he shook his head. "Well, yeah maybe just a bit. No but seriously, I like you when you're being, you."

I smiled at him. "How do you know what me is?"

Axel then became a bit serious, which made me worry. He reached for my face and held my chin.

"Because when you're you, you smile a lot. And when you're not you, you try so hard to be someone you're not."

I have no idea, but it was at this moment that I felt like I was caught with something. I felt like I needed to hide myself because someone actually saw me. It made me feel so weird, and I was never used to having people see me as a person rather than a jerk because, well, I saw that being a dick was better than being myself.

"I have to go." I quickly got off of Axel and began walking towards the path once again. I heard Axel calling my name, but I ignored it. I knew that once I left him, I would leave my true identity with him.

* * *

><p>"You are such an idiot!"<p>

"Sora calm down." I told my brother as I was putting away the rest of my clothes.

"No!" He loudly whispered as he tried yelling at me with the loudest whisper he could manage. "No I will not because you just had another person, particularly and very hot person, tell you that he liked you, and you chickened out because he didn't like 'Badass Roxas'!"

"Exactly!" I shouted.

"No!" Sora yet again whispered. "Roxas he liked you as _you_, not asshole you. Is it so bad that someone likes you that way?"

"Yes! Because then everyone will think of me as a softy, and I don't want that to happen. I'm more than that."

Sora had face palmed himself, and he was shaking his head. I sighed as I checked the time. It was 10 o'clock. In exactly 2 hours I would have completed my first week of school. Also, the concert would have started.

"Roxas, I beg you. Please give Axel a chance."

"Sora you don't even know how this guy is like."

"Well from what I'm hearing, this guy kind of resembles you..."

I gasped, and looked at Sora whose arms were crossed and smirking evilly.

"He is nothing like me." I stated coldly.

Sora shook his head. "I think we need to bring in more advice in here."

I watched my computer screen as Sora began texting something on his phone. In less than a minute, I heard the door open to Sora's room, and I quickly closed my computer. What the hell was he thinking? We had practice this routine that when we web chatted it is in the wee hours of the morning and our father was snoring happily.

My phone vibrated. I quickly checked it because I knew it was from Sora.

_Open your computer up! It was mom. I texted her because you need some advice, some good advice._

I did as he said, and opened my computer. I quickly signed back in, and there on my computer screen I saw my mom smiling at me as she saw me. I almost began to tear up, but I kept it together.

"Oh Roxas honey stop being a man. I know you're happy to see me." Even through webcam, it sounded as if she was there in the room with me.

"Now, Sora tells me that you're having boy troubles?" she asked.

I laughed because I found this the most funnies thing. "Yea mom, something like that."

"Well honey I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I'm going to answer you like I would answer if I had a daughter, okay?"

I shook my head, and then nodded in agreement.

"Alright, I'm just checking. Oh! And before you go off expressing yourself, know that you're going to school to learn, not to just like boys."

"Okay mom!" I laughed afterwards.

"Well, being you is the key Roxas. It always will be if you want to make it work with someone. If you try so hard to be something that is the total opposite, then nothing is going to turn out the way you want it to. Even though it may not seem like it at times, being yourself gets you to more places than being fake ever will. Roxas honey, you have to be yourself. As much as you might not like it, not being yourself will get you only so far, whereas just being you will make others realize that there is more to you than black clothes and make-up. You are your own person Roxas, and you should feel free to express that to everyone. And forget those other people who don't see what we see."

"And that would be?"

"Someone who is remarkably wonderful, and kind. And how amazing you taste in music is."

We both laugh afterwards.

"Now from what I gather, this boy likes you as _you_, yes?"

I nodded.

"Well then that's all you need to give him honey, just you; not the person are pretending to be. You do have to guard your heart first. And when you know him well enough, then you can open your heart to him."

I sighed as I looked at my mom. "I do need to talk to you about more things often."

She laughed as she began hugging Sora. I had missed her hugs, and right now I wish I was there with her, having this conversation, and having her hug me. I had missed you presence so much, it began to hurt.

"Oh Roxas what's the matter?" my mom asked.

"What?" I had now realized that I was crying, and I tried covering it up.

"Roxas it is okay to feel honey."

I laughed as I used my sleeve to wipe my tears. "Yeah mom, I do have a soul you know."

Sora and she laughed. "Well sometimes it doesn't show."

I shook my head and began to laugh with them.

Suddenly my door flung open, and Riku came in and began talking.

"So a certain someone who wants your dick wants to know if the concert is on."

My eyes opened wide, and I looked over to Riku who was eating chips. He looked at me, then at my computer screen with my brother and mom. Riku had dropped his bag, and was now wide eyed too.

After a whole minute of awkward silence, Riku decided to speak first.

"Mrs. Rogers! How lovely to finally meet you! I'm Riku, Roxas's friend and across the hall neighbor."

My mother raised her eyebrow and gave a side look towards Sora, who was stiff as a rock.

"Why, hello Riku nice to meet you. I believe that Sora talks a great deal about you."

Both boys were wide eyed, and I found this moment to be the most funniest I had ever lived to bear through. I began to laugh I told my mother goodnight, and that I would text her as soon as I went to bed.

"It was a pleasure meeting you Riku. I hope we meet again in person."

"Of course Mrs. Rogers, I look forward to it."

My mom left Sora's computer screen, and right afterwards, Riku pushed me off my seat and began to talk to Sora. I rolled my eyes as left my room to go find Axel.

I found him laying around in the lounge, flipping through channels. I slowly crept up to him, standing near the edge of the couch. I peeked in the corner of the edge of the couch to see his face. He eyes were fixed on the TV screen. I leaned over the edge of the couch and made my presence known.

"Hey."

His eyebrows went up in acknowledgment.

"So, I wanted to know who was playing at that concert tonight."

Axel shrugged, still focused on the TV.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier this week. I just, have to work thing out with myself first before I let anyone see who I really am."

Axel's attention was now focused on me.

"I really am sorry, and I'll try working on toning down my asshole-self."

Axel smiled and sat up, facing me.

"Actually, I thought it was kind of cute. So maybe you shouldn't get rid of it that quickly."

I laughed and shook my head. "So, what say you and I head over to that concert?"

Axel lifted his arms and held my head. He looked into my eyes, and began playing with my hair like before.

"There is no concert."

My eyes opened wide. "Oh really?"

Axel smiled. "I just said that as an excuse to get you to go somewhere with me. I heard you liked music a lot."

"Well doesn't everybody?" I smiled as well.

Axel smiled, and just looked at me. "I like you, Roxas. And I want to get to know you."

"How touching."

We both turned to face the voice who spoke suddenly.

We both saw another teen, standing in the doorway, arms crossed. He looked expressionless but yet he managed to pull of the pissed look. His long blue hair reached just below his shoulders, and he seemed to have a scar across his forehead. His big brown eyes stared at me as he noticed Axel touching me. He walked over to Axel and me.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Saïx and I am the head of this hall."

"You wish you were." Axel commented.

"Why wish when you can just simply take?" Saïx spoke in response to Axel.

"Tell me Roxas, what did Axel say to you just now?"

"What do you care?" I asked. This guy was starting to piss me off.

Saïx smiled and uncrossed his arms. "Because I'm Axel's boyfriend, and I demand to know just exactly what you two are planning."

My heart stopped at the words Saïx had just spoke, but I knew that he was just fucking around with me. There's no possible way that Axel could have been with _him_. Just one look at him and you think of thorns and cobwebs. Just thinking about made me shiver.

"Saïx, you dick." Axel let go of his grip on me and got up from the couch. "Roxas I'm not with this douche. He's just sore from our one time."

"Only one time?" Saïx asked. "Oh Axel, you can try to cover up your past, but it's always going to come back and bite you."

"Yeah apparently, you're the proof."

Saïx laughed. "Roxas don't waste your time with this fiery red head. Not worth the trouble."

"I think I'll decide for myself, thanks."

Saïx gave me a sour look and smiled. "He's cute Axel. Better than the last one. What was his name again? Oh that's right. It was _her_."

My eyes were wide, and I had to clutch the couch for support. Saïx smiled as he noticed that I had to support myself up because of what he said.

"Well, thought I should drop by and say hi. Have fun on your date."

And then the bitch left.

I clinched my fist so I could hold back my anger. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at Axel. If I thought that he being with other guys hurt this much, then just knowing that he was once straight made me crazy.

"Roxas, I'm sorry."

"So what are you? Are you straight? Are you bisexual?" I just wanted to know. All of this, finding out his past and making pissed off, it was just ridiculous. I was going to go do crazy shit if I found out more.

"I can't just tell you my past Roxas. We don't know each other that well."

I gasped a bit, and then looked straight up to him. "Well maybe we should let others tell me what's going on with you?"

"Like you're perfect!" Axel threw his hands up. "Stop trying to blame for every little thing you hear!"

"Well maybe I wouldn't be mad if you just told me yourself!"

Axel then shrugged and turned around to turn off the TV. "I knew you would be such a girl…"

Well so much for a whisper. My eyes grew big, and I didn't need to clinch my fists anymore because my hands had somehow reached Axel's face. I was on top of him like before, but this time I was punching the crap out of Axel, and he was letting me hit him, which made me even more pissed.

"Defend yourself!" I yelled in his face and I stopped hitting.

Axel then took this opportunity to push me off him, pushing me to the nearest wall.

"You're not as tough as you think you are, or how yourself chose to be. Quite frankly you're starting to piss me off."

"Then why don't you just go then?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Axel smiled, exposing blood stained teeth. His whole expression freaked me out, but I stood my ground and looked him straight in the eye.

"I'll go," He spoke softly, leaning closer to my ear. "But before I do, I need to return something."

The second later Axel had punch me in the stomach so hard I banged against the wall again. For a few more seconds I couldn't breathe hell I couldn't even see. Axel had loosened his grip on me and let me slide down to the floor. Once I regained my sight, just barely, I watched as Axel walked away, looking back once he reached the doorway. I tried giving him a look of annoyance but he had already walked away.

I was mad at so many things that I soon realized that I was just trying to pick something to stay mad at and let my range come out. It's being the Ghost Rider or something, and having the true devil come out of you because of a little thing that upsets you. I didn't know where Axel came off, punching me in the gut like that. Hell, I don't even know why I thought I had the right to be pissed at him like some little girl. I hated what had come out of this. Actually, no I don't hate it. This is actually the opportunity I need to sort my shit out and get away from Axel; because that's what I wanted all along. I wanted to get Axel off my dick. He got what wanted out of me, and I got what I wanted in return.

So why the fuck do I feel like I'm lying to myself?

* * *

><p>A month passed by fast, and I was slowly forgetting about Axel. He on the other hand had made it seem getting over with someone is the simplest thing to do. That dick. I watch him as he begins talking some boy across the hall from my locker. I remember that not long ago that I realized he was like that with me. Holy shit, get over yourself Roxas. You need to get a life; a life that does not include him. He don't need him, you don't need to be with him. I keep saying shit like that to keep me from go crazy. Every time I try to pick myself up, there's always my fucking conscience saying that I needed to work things out with him.<p>

Bullshit.

I need to forget him, that's what I need to do. But it is so fucking had every time I see him talking to that boy across from me. Instead of trying find the negative things, like I always do, I begin to find myself being a girl. _'He probably is only talking to him because he has a closer view of me.' 'Maybe things will turn out bad between them, and he'll come to me.' 'Why isn't he talking to me, and more to him?'_

It drives me fucking crazy sometimes I just want to punch something.

Today unfortunately was the day that I did.

I was watching the two disgustingly flirting. My anger was building up and up and finally, I punch my locker closed. All the noise in closet had ceased, and I was left there, feeling the stares of many. I didn't care if people were staring. I didn't even mean to cause this much attention, but it sure did caught Axel's eye. I glared at him, and then began to form my hands into fists. It was at this moment that changed from frightening silence, to awkward silence. I realized that I had placed my backpack inside my locker and I needed to get it to go to my next class. So I was the first to break that silence by turning around, which made a squeak from my shoes, twisting my lock, clicking the handle, and then reaching inside for my backpack. I slammed it once more, trying not to create another attention grabbing sound but I couldn't help it.

I walked to my last class of the day pissed as hell and embarrassed like fuck. I wanted today to be over with and done. I tapped my fingers on the desk as I waited for the teacher to come and start class. My eyes suddenly shifted to a big flash of red that appeared at the door. Big green forest like eyes stared at me as it noticed the attention I was giving him. I quickly looked away and began focusing my attention on something else. I brought out my iPod and began looking at what new games I could install. But of course I kept my eye on the red head that was talking to the teacher, and then heading towards my way. My heart began to race as I felt his presence near me when he walked to his seat.

What I found odd was that I felt movement from behind me, and then suddenly an actual presence. No one sat behind me in this class, so why would someone start now?

But then it was when I felt vibration on the book holder under my seat. I closed my eyes and tried not to turn around and say anything. I needed to control myself, not let something like what happened a month ago. I began taking breathes and focusing on my iPod. Then the vibration began to increase, which also made my anger increase. No, I wasn't going to let him get to me. I needed to control myself, and get through the day.

"Quite a show you displayed back in the hall."

His voice sounded the same, and it was at this moment that I realized how much I missed it.

As much as I wanted to have a huge conversation with him, I ignored him; because it was the right thing to do, or so I thought it was.

"It was really," Axel sighed, and then let out his breath near my ear, making me shiver just a bit. "It was really entertaining to watch you try to be a badass." He chuckled evilly as I heard him take out something.

"You know, call me crazy, but it seemed like you were jealous of someone."

I stood still for a brief second, and managed to say something in response.

"You're crazy."

"Whoa! He speaks." He laughed. "Why don't we have this conversation facing each other? It's rude to not look at the persons eyes when you're having a discussion."

"That's okay, I'm fine like this."

Axel 'tsk' and although I didn't see it, I felt him shaking his head.

"Now you don't want people to take you as a rude now, do you?"

I scoffed and turned around slowly.

"Rude? Please. I can never be rude."

"Well you can sure put in a good punch."

I noticed the cuts around his lip, and realized that I was the one who had done it him.

"I forgive you, by the way." Axel said a few minutes after.

I looked at him, and for the time in a while, I smiled at him.

Class couldn't go by any slower. But I really didn't care. I liked, and missed mostly, talking to Axel. It was at this moment that I just wanted to be his friend, nothing more. Okay well that's a lie. I still liked him but I wanted him as a friend, just for now. Maybe someday soon things will heat up for me and him and we'll do something about it.

The bell finally rang, and Axel and I stayed behind after class to pack out things.

"So who's you're new boy toy?" I asked hurtfully.

Axel smiled as he put away his last book. "Which one?"

I almost dropped a book from my hands, but I managed to keep in steady in my hands.

"I'm kidding." Axel chuckled. "He's just some guy that was flirting with me."

Bullshit, every single fucking day starting from the day after we fought? I don't believe it.

"Oh."

Axel then laughed a bit, but kept quiet.

"What?" I asked.

Axel swung his backpack across his shoulder and looked at me.

"In the same week, you had told me you were straight, and then later on you had kissed me. I'm starting to think if I should be the jealous one."

I smiled wickedly. "But I there's nothing going on between us."

Axel then gave a small smirk. He walked to me and grabbed my chin. "You keep telling yourself that sweetie."

I pushed his arm away, and let him walk past me. Although it was a bit creepy, I smelled the air that he left when he walked past me. Yeah I know girls do this with guys, but I couldn't help myself. It was like an instinct to do it. But it was at this moment that I decided to do something kind of out of the ordinary.

"Axel!" I called out in the hallway.

He was barely half way to the door when I had called him. With such anticipation, he turned slowly, smiling his wicked smile when he got what he wanted. That bastard…

"What happened?" I asked breathlessly for some reason. "Everything was just going great, and then I kept finding out about your past that pissed me off… then it just went downhill from there."

Axel slowly walked towards me, his steps echoing in the empty halls. Fuck, now I know I'm going to get it.

"I don't mean to be so forward," Axel began as he stopped once he was face to face with me. Then in a low tone he said, "But it was your entire fault."

I scoffed, and then chuckled afterwards, pushing him on the shoulder. "That is a bit forward."

Axel smiled. "Well I am a very straight forward person."

We both laughed. I didn't want to look at him anymore. Those huge ass emerald eyes were distracting me, and I wanted to just say what was on my mind.

"Hey." Axel called. He lifted his hand and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I'm not finished with you yet. I just wanted you to blow off steam. Now, if you really want to know about my past from me, meet me in the courtyard at 5 today. Bring some snacks because it's a long ass story."

I looked at him wide eyed. I didn't know why he was doing this, but all I knew was that I was for sure coming to meet him at 5. But at the same time I didn't know what I was expecting. Was his story that bad that he needed to tell me in order for us to be together? Wait, are we even going to be together? Holy shit I was confused so much my head began to hurt. Axel was a big confusion ball of terror that liked to follow me around, although, I liked every moment of it.

"Okay. I will." I smiled.

Axel still kept his grip on me, and he lingered there for a moment. He looked into my eyes, and then down at my lips, as if trying to figure out how to kiss them properly. I tried pushing that though aside, but damn I knew it was coming one way or another. I just knew it. Damn it Roxas, you hope for the best too much. I have to start thinking negative things for once.

He's not going to kiss me. He is _not_ going to kiss me.

Axel smiles, and begins leaning in forward towards me face, touching his lips with mine.

Fuck thinking negative. Obviously it isn't right.

He smiled into the kiss, and pressed for more. I thought _'What the hell, I'm going to be here for a while.' _

I wrapped my arms around him, and the moment after I did so, Axel pushed himself away from me. I was confused at first, and I could tell it was on my face because right after Axel chuckled.

"I got to break up with that kid I was talking to earlier before we do anything else."

What. The. Fuck.

"You're _with_ him? You're with him and you kiss me?"

Axel smiled. "Well I can't really help myself when you're so cute, and I'm just here in front of you."

"Yeah well try. That dude is probably texting you lovey-dovey shit huh?"

And right cue, Axel's phone beeped twice, proving my point. I shook my head in disappointment, and embarrassment in myself.

"Don't do this Axel. I want all of you. Not half you."

"Since when do you know what you want?" Axel began to raise his voice. "One day we're fighting with each other, then the next we're kissing each other all over the place. Make up your damn mind Roxas."

"Well maybe I would choose easily if you didn't go off and mind fuck with other guys!"

"Well then maybe you should just stay away from me then huh? If I'm such a mind fuck then stay away!"

"I can't!" I yelled.

Axel took a step back, and he examined me. My fists we're clinched and I was trying to control my breathing. Anger wasn't building up, it was all this confusion mixed with frustration. I was so upset about how much Axel was playing me for a fool, and it was at this moment that I realized that I didn't mind. That is what got me. I was about to let him do this to me, and I would be okay with it because I liked him that much. But I wasn't going to let myself be the victim in this. I didn't want to be. But then I wanted to be. Argh! All this confusion was now starting to piss me off.

"I can't stay away from you anymore." I confessed.

Axel lifted his head up, looking down at me from the corner of his eye. He had placed his hands in his pockets and was now just glaring at me.

"Why are you trying to stop us from being something? I can't tell if you want to start something with me, or you want to mess around. Make up your mind. That's why I gave you time, so you could think this through."

And then something crossed my mind. This probably might cause my relationship with Axel, but I needed to say it.

"If you were giving me time to sort my shit out, then what were you doing? Fulfilling your needs while I was unavailable?"

"No, Roxas it wasn't like that."

"That's exactly what it was." I interrupted him. "You can't stand not being after someone, and if you don't get them to where you want them, then you go run off to the next one."

"But I came back to you Roxas."

"But you are still with him!" I yelled once more. "You're still fucking around with him and you're not fully with me."

Axel crossed his arms in annoyance. He looked the other way and scoffed. His energy looked irritated probably because he wasn't making out with me like he wanted to. Son of a bitch, he was making me change my mind that minute, but I still stood my ground to what I wanted to say.

"Fine," He broke the silence. "I don't want to waste my time with you anyways."

Axel turned his back, and began walking towards the exit. My anger reached its limit, and belted out once more.

"Fuck you Axel!"

He had raised his finger right after.

I realized that everything that had started, and just recently ended, was pay back from my dad. He sent me here to get rid of 'this disease', but instead I went off and messed around with Axel. I took this moment as my father getting back at me, and telling me this is what happens if you I try to love someone that's not a girl.

I watched him leave, his finger still raised in the air. I turned the other way once I heard him turn the hallway because watching him leave would be just another reminder of how much hurt came from him. Why was all this going downhill? Why is it that every time I touch something, it ends up turning to shit. With Axel, it was just plain confusing. Anything that I thought of when I was around him, my father came to mind. He was always there in my mind to tell me that being gay was wrong, and that I needed to change. The crazy thing about all this though was that I wanted to! I wanted to change my life style because of my dad. Just for him. Not even for me because I thought it was wrong. But my own thoughts? I didn't giving a flying fuck if I liked girls or guys or both! I just listened to my gut feeling, and it somehow it led me to Axel.

But look where it got me! Alone in a hallway, clinging to the kiss that was still fresh on my lips and knowing that is the last kiss I'll have for a long time. I stand there and wonder why in the hell did I decide to get myself in this mess. I guess this is one of those moments where father does know best.

From now on, no one is going to fuck with me. No one is going to mess me up and treat me the way I don't want to be treated. Now, I take matters in my own hands. Now, I need to find myself again, and get out of here and go back home. Why should I be worrying so much about myself when I have a little brother who might be in the same situation as me? I should stop being so selfish and think of others, particularly my brother.

So as of right now, I am going to forget that asshole, and focus on having my dad to let me come back home. But what I need to do first is convince him that I've changed my ways just a bit…

Suddenly I hear footsteps coming from the hallway. It was some random boy putting up posters to some dance that will be coming up. I quickly run up to him and ask for a flyer. He handed me one, and I read it fast.

_SPRING FLING! _

_Bring your hot date for a night of FREE drinks and food._

'_Bring your hot date'_ were the words that caught my attention. My thoughts go back to a certain school that has such girls.

Operation straight for a day phase one: Get a hot girl from Lavender Academy to go as my date.

* * *

><p>OKAY.<p>

Again, I am sorry this was late, and let me also apologize if the story made no sense D: Mistakes, please point them out. I wanted to get this up as soon as possible. I won't make any promises on ch.4, so all I can say it will be up soon ^^

Thanks for reading :D Please comment on this and tell yo' friends :)


	4. The Final Stand

**I. AM. SORRY.**

**This is WAY over due, and the only excuse I have for you is that I kept having writers block for many of the parts of this story. Oh gosh, I want all you to know I feel terrible. **

**I'm going to stop talking now so just read.**

* * *

><p>I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I just knew that Axel wasn't my priority anymore. I wasn't going to focus all my attention on him any longer because all it got me was a shit load of emotional problems. It bothered me that I acted so vulnerable around him, like I was the chick in the relationship, and he was the douche bag boyfriend that would drink all the time and act like an asshole. He was someone that made me feel good inside, but I always had that feeling of regret in the back of my head. But nevertheless, I still stayed because I like how I felt when I was around him because…<p>

No. I didn't love him. How could I love someone like him? Someone who is constantly on a rollercoaster of emotions and doesn't know what the hell he wants. It's ridiculous. I'm glad I got out when I can. But when I saw him walk away, I couldn't help but let my heart drop. It was as if he was walking away from everything that we ever had, like it was all just a fucking experiment, like it was just for shits and giggles. I absolutely hated it, and I hated him for making me feel that way. But at the same time I missed being his lab rat, as strange as that sounds.

So now, I'm starting new. I'm starting fresh, and I'm going to focus on going home to Sora. I don't care if I have to lie about my sexuality, but I need to be there for Sora. So come 'on Roxas, you can get through this.

Most of the heads in the classroom turned, and gave me a funny look. I was focused on what I was doing, which was giving me a pep talk. Of course, as oblivious as I was, I continued to talk to myself.

"_You gotta work it out Roxas, you just gotta."_

"Mr. Rogers,"

"_You can't let it get to you."_

"Mr. Rogers,"

"_He might do something to you."_

"Mr. Rogers!"

"What?! What do you want old man?!" I stood up from my desk, pushing my chair out. I slammed my hand on the desk and stare at my boring as fuck English teacher. He jumped a bit once I slammed my hands on the desk. Shit, I knew I was in it deep, so might as well top it all off with a cherry on top.

"What is so important that you need to shout my name to get my attention?!"

The old man, I still don't know all my teachers name's yet, placed a hand on his hip, and took off his glasses. He gave me a weird stare, and then narrowed his eyes at me.

"Your education Mr. Rogers, your education is of importance, now take a seat."

The old man turned away to continue writing on the board, ignoring my little outburst. But of course, I had to step in it further.

"Fuck my education!"

The old man turned around quickly, and dropped his chalk. The whole class turned and faced me, giving me smiles of encouragement. Chuckles were heard from everyone else who knew I was going to get it.

Because I knew I was in it so much, I decided why not bathe in it too? I'm already in the biggest pile of shit that has ever been created anyways.

"I'm obviously not getting anywhere with _your _teachings." That made the whole class 'oo' 'ahh'.

The old man slammed his hand on his desk, and pointed a finger at me.

"You sir, need to respect your elders."

I narrowed my eyes, and leaned over my desk. Alright Roxas take it home…

"And you sir, need to learn how to teach to younger children without being aroused."

The old man gasped, and looked down to his manhood, which seemed to be saying hi to the class. The class busted out in laughter, and began pointing at the old man. He then pointed to the door, shouting at me to go to principal's office and to hell. I couldn't hear him over the sound of my awesomeness being acknowledged by the other students.

I smiled as I walked out of that class. I didn't bother going to the principal's office because of two reasons: One, the old man forgot to give me a slip, and two, I needed a walk. Yeah, I guess I was a bit over the top, but if I hadn't been right about his sexual thoughts, I would have had a beat down in the class. My fists slowly unclenched, and my tension throughout my whole body began to gradually cease. My thoughts began to process if I hadn't been able to control myself, that I would have probably attacked him, or worse killed him. I shrugged the thought over, but by doing so, I began thinking about Hayner, and how he was doing. But then again, didn't care. I remember checking his Facebook status once, because we're still friends on there, and it said:

"_The hardest thing one can do is to pretend that love never happened."_

I found it awkward after that, so I thought that I would update my status:

"_The hardest thing one can do is watching your love fall off a 10 foot building for something they did."_

Hayner got offline after that.

But it got me thinking about my anger issues, and how I could possibly kill someone if there wasn't someone to stop me. Sora was usually that person to stop me, and talk to me about my choices while I'm making a bad one. But ever since I got here, I wasn't really sure who was there to stop me from making a wrong choice. Sure, Riku was always there, but when I'm in class he can't be there. He's not going to pop out of nowhere and save me from myself. At this moment right now, I realized that I have a really bad anger issue, and I needed to fix that.

Later that day we had our annual dorm meeting, and it was something I wasn't looking forward to because I got to see that stupid redheaded asshole every day, sitting across from me with his arms crossed, giving me the most blankest stare that anyone could ever manage on a person. I absolutely hated it because when I would break the staring, Axel would always laugh silently to himself, indicating that he won. What is it going to take for me to give up on him? He obviously already did.

Our meetings were on a Friday nights, and they would last usually until Marluxia said it would. The past few months we hadn't had any because the swim team made regionals, and then nationals, and then they were in the finals for two weeks. So basically we hadn't had a meeting in a while.

"Alright guys before we begin our meeting, Roxas has something to share with the group."

My eyes grew big, and I looked over to Marluxia, who had his arms crossed and his brow lifted. Shit, he knew what happened between me and the old man already? Damn… I guess teachers gossip more than students do sometimes.

"Um, no I don't." I responded.

Marluxia leaned over in his seat. "I believe you do Roxas," He began to get comfortable in his seat. "Or else I will give you detention for the rest of the week."

I smiled. "You can't give me detention, you're a swim coach."

Everyone in the group gasped. This shocked me because I wouldn't think I'd get a rise out of this

"You can't talk to Mr. M like that!" Demyx spoke with his hand to his heart. "That's uncalled for!"

"Roxas," Zexion began to explain. "Marluxia is one of the most powerful teachers here at Oxford. He is highly respected, and everyone knows not to mess with him."

"He got our school recognized squirt." Axel spoke, which shocked me. I haven't heard his voice in months, and I can honestly say it felt good to hear it. "He's not some push-over-old English teacher, he's respected. So don't be an ass. Got it memorized?"

I gave Axel a glare. I felt like saying who the real ass in the room was, but I held it back. I don't know why I did this, but I did. It was weird for me to think that I shouldn't embarrass him when there are so many reasons why I should.

"Alright guys enough," Marluxia butted in. "There's no need for that. Now Roxas, are you going to inform the group about your little incident?"

I looked around the room, and began to take notice every single detail; the wall paper peeling off the corner of the walls, the extra empty chairs, the way the light sort of flickered which indicated that it needed to be changed. I needed anything to look at to keep my attention away from the conversation that I was supposed to be a part of. I didn't want to talk about it, and I most defiantly did not want to share in front of Axel. That would just give him one more reason to bag on me. Also, it would give him a reason to hate me more…

"No."

Marluxia sighed. "Alright, I see how it is. You don't want to share. Well, there is one more thing I'm going to ask you Roxas; food or books?"

I looked at Marluxia. "What?"

Marluxia smiled. "It's quite simple really, food or books?"

I gave him the most confused look ever. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Which one would you prefer?"

I looked around the others to see if they knew what he was talking about. Their heads were down, not making eye contact with Marluxia or me. They were avoiding the situation as any other person would.

"I don't know, food?"

Marluxia leaned in his chair, and began writing something on his clip board.

"Alright Mr. Rogers, if you refuse to tell us your incident with your English teacher today, and admit your wrong doings, you will be helping the cafeteria ladies in the dining hall serve food."

My jaw dropped. The rest of the group chuckled. I looked around at Axel, who was shaking his head with his hands in his pockets and was smiling. That fucker was smiling, and it pissed me off because I knew that, yet again, I was being embarrassed in front of him right now.

I smiled, and then licked my lips.

"How long is the kitchen duty?"

The whole group sighed, and put their heads down. I just simply smiled at Marluxia, crossing my arms as I leaned back in my chair. I knew that I was giving him a hard time, but who cares? He doesn't mean anything to me. And besides, kitchen duty sounds great. That means I get to serve myself more food than the other students because I work there. I'll be eating the food than I would actually be keeping in clean. This sounds genius, and I knew that I had the last say in this.

But before I could gloat on this any further, Axel had to ruin it.

"Damn it Roxas, why can't you just admit that you're wrong? You're not so perfect than you think you are you know."

I stood up in my seat, getting ready not to take anything from him anymore.

"I'm not saying I'm perfect. I just don't want to share my personal experiences."

"Oh shut-up shorty. Everyone knows that you almost choked Mr. Peters because he told you to sit down. Everyone knows that you have Hulk issues. Everyone knows that you still love me!"

I couldn't stand it anymore. I knew something was going to happen and it did. I remember running towards Axel and jumping on him, pulling him down by the hair and choking him with my arm. Axel had managed to pull me off, thinking it was over, but I wasn't finished yet. I jumped on him once more, and began to punch him. I punched for every emotion I felt for this asshole; anger, hatred, sadness, disappointment, and love. I also remember Axel pushing me off him, and punching my lights out.

I guess at some point, I just need to stop being an ass.

* * *

><p>I woke up slowly, my vision barely getting its sight back. I let out a groan as I felt my whole body ache, like I hadn't moved for days. Slowly I sat up in my bed, touching my head. I immediately felt pain, and jerked my hand away. Once I regained strength again, I slowly caress the left side of my face, and felt smooth, yet a burning sensation on my skin.<p>

I quickly got up to see my face in the mirror, but fell because my legs gave out. I yelled as the floor made an impact on my face. Carefully, I lifted myself back up, and slowly I walked over to the mirror. For support, I leaned on my desk as I took a look at my face. The whole left side of my face was bruised red, and it was a bit larger than the other side, but not to the extreme like I couldn't see. I began to panic, thinking I probably got robbed in my own room, or maybe I was hit when I was walking from class. Who could possibly–?

And then it hit me, well actually _he_ hit me. My thoughts came back quickly as I remembered that Axel and I were in a fight, and he had punched me after I had almost choked him. I sighed.

I am an asshole. He had the right to knock my lights out. But honestly, is it really _my_ fault? I wasn't the one who liked someone, but was dating someone else. I wasn't the one who was telling lies to everyone to everyone to get someone to like me.

Everything is just fucked up, and I don't know how to put them back together again.

Suddenly a knock came from my door, and I quickly lost balance of my weight I put on my desk and fell to the floor. I groaned as I heard the knock continue on my door.

"Come in!" I yelled.

The door flung open. I lifted my head to see who it was, and was shocked.

Demyx came in and closed the door. He walked over to me and lifted me up to my feet. I groaned in pain some more as Demyx helped me to my bed.

"What the fuck happened?!" I yelled as I was dropped to me bed.

"Well," Demyx stepped back, and began to play with his fingers. "What do you remember last?"

I scratched my head but then groaned because I accidently touched my left side rather than my right. I looked at Demyx, and from the expression on his face he looked scared shitless.

"I remember being punched by that asshole."

Demyx shrugged. "Well that's basically it."

I looked up to Demyx. "Are you fucking serious? Axel did this?! Axel punches my face and this," I pointed to my face. "This is the outcome of it?!"

Demyx slowly, and cautiously, nodded. He then opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He just simply stood there, baffled, and he shrugged.

"If it helps, he looks worse than you do."

"THAT BASTARD!" I yelled.

I don't know why I yelled this, but it felt like it needed to be yelled. I felt that the whole hall needed to know how much of a bastard Axel is. I wanted to run down the hall and knock on his door and punch _his_ lights out, but then I really didn't feel like moving at all. All I knew is that he needed to pay, and soon.

"Marluxia made some arrangements and had both of your teachers excuse you from class for the next three days."

I paused for a second. "Both? What do you mean by both?"

Demyx was ready to leave, but then heard my question and came back.

"Well, Marluxia thought it was necessary that you two have an intervention with each other."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

I pushed the covers off of me. I felt like all the anger build up in me, and it was being unleashed like Godzilla on Monster Island. Demyx fell to the floor over my wrath, and he trembled as I looked and stood before him. I knew what I had to do, and I wasn't going to take it out on Demyx. No, I was going to take it out on the douchebag who messed up my face.

I walked over to the door, clenching the doorknob as I turned it open. Suddenly, every feeling I had inside me boiled inside me as I saw who was at my door. There, with one purple eye and neck bruised, was the douchebag himself.

For some reason, as much as I hated him at this moment, I didn't do anything. I just stood there, looking into his eye, just being so pissed at him. My breathing began to increase, but I didn't touch him. Axel looked down at me, watching me be so mad at him. His expression seemed like he was pissed as hell as well, but it seemed like he was waiting for me to try something before he did anything.

"Demyx," he spoke which surprised me. "Get out of here."

Demyx didn't need to be told twice. I never left Axel's eyes, but I heard Demyx get up quickly from my floor. He somehow managed to squeeze in between Axel and me. He quickly scurried off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Axel walked forward, forcing me to walk into my room. He shut the door behind him, making the only noise in the room. I looked at him with such anger that I've never felt before. I was so pissed that he messed up my face just because I lost it. I was pissed at him because he asked me back when he was dating someone else. I was so fucking mad at this douche bag because he was just one confused fuck.

"You asshole." I just blurted out.

"Yeah?" Axel responded not even a second later. "Well fuck you too."

I kept looking at him, trying to hold back my anger. By the look on his face as well, he was holding back too.

"Why are you here?" I rose my voice a bit, getting to the point.

"Demyx needed help, so I came to help him." He answered.

"Well he's gone now."

"No shit Sherlock, good work in discovering the obvious."

"Fuck you!"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"You're an asshole! I fucking hate your guts!"

"Do you really?"

It was those words that I suddenly felt all my anger emotions turn to mush. I felt hopelessly in love again, and I lost all strength. I couldn't think straight because my mind was focused on how much I still loved this bastard. But then it pissed me off of how much I loved Axel, and how that I would do anything to get him to say that to me. It pissed me off so much that… that I would be nothing to him but just a little freak that can't control his emotions. I'm no one to him, just like how I am to my dad… just a boy with a _problem._

"What, did I hit a soft spot?" Axel spoke, anger still in his voice. "Are you backing out now? Come 'on, we're just getting started!"

"Just go." I spoke softly with no force at all.

"Oh, what's this? Roxas is dropping out in a fight?" He gasped. "It just can't be!"

"Go away." I said once more.

Axel chuckled. "Wow Roxas. Why the change of heart? Too scared to fight? Hmm?" He gave me a light push.

I shook my head, and finally broke eye contact with him, pushing past him and heading for the door.

"Hey!" Axel yelled. "I'm talking to you!"

I stopped, staring blankly at the door. I reached for the knob, but I was then jerked away, and forced to face Axel and his anger. He looked more pissed than I was, and I couldn't understand why. I was shocked that he wasn't even trying to punch me or anything. I stood there, thinking it sucks that we'll never be this close again, only when we're fighting. Axel was squeezing my shoulders, and he was breathing heavily. I'm not gonna lie, I was scared shitless. He looked like he was going to murder me, and spread my blood all around the room, and eat my limbs for dinner so something. But for some reason, at this moment I felt that he wasn't going to hit me. If anything, it felt like he wanted to…

And then it happened. His lips were forced upon mine. His hands were still locked onto my shoulders, and he was pulling me even closer than I already was to him. I was still and frozen, trying to process what was happening while it was happening. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there, accepting his kiss. It didn't last very long because he then pushed himself away from me, his hands still on my shoulders. He looked pissed as hell, but then at the same time he looked satisfied. I wasn't mad at him. Well why the hell would I be, he fucking kissed me! But I was mostly shocked as to why.

Axel cupped my face, and this time he was gentle. He still seemed mad, but his look of satisfaction gave me a sense of hope that maybe he might kiss me again. This time, I'll be prepared.

"Why do I insist on always coming back to _you_?"

His words stabbed me, like how he stabbed my heart many times before. But this made it different than the other times because it felt like he didn't want to like me, and he was putting in so much effort to hate me. Yeah, I should be happy right? Wrong. He sounded just like my dad, trying to wonder why he could even love someone like me because I was just too fucking difficult to deal with.

I licked my lips, trying to hold back my tears. "Then why are you _still_ here?"

Axel then grabbed my clothes, and pulled me to his face. "Because I fucking care about you, okay?!"

My eyes widened, and I couldn't help but gasp. Yeah it sounds cliché, but it just slipped out. I looked at him, fucking shocked as ever, and just had a huge question mark on my face.

"But–"

"Don't say anything else to embarrass me, okay? You already proved your point."

He slowly let go of me, and I was just there, standing in front of him, feeling used, lame and stupid, but ultimately I felt loved. I won't lie; I bet this looked hot from another person's view. But from where I'm standing this was scary as fuck.

"So," I began. "What are you trying to say?"

Axel straightened up, and looked down on me. He backed me up into the door, and he placed his hand next to my head. He looked away with his eyes closed, then slowly turned his head towards my face.

"I don't ever want to be apart from you Roxas. I need you by my side all the time."

I held my breath as Axel looked into my eyes, coming closer and closer to my face, well err, my lips.

"I've decided that you're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. If you're going to be miserable, then hell I'll be miserable with ya."

I honestly didn't know what to say. All this sounded nice, but something about this was wrong. As much as I wanted to smile and accept him back into my life, there was that stupid regret feeling that was telling me it was a trap, and that I shouldn't go through with this. It was bugging the hell out of me that I didn't know what it was that was stopping me from being with Axel.

Wait. I do know why… Shit, this is gonna be hard.

"Axel," I whispered.

"Oh, say my name again." Axel closed his eyes as he rested his forehead against mine.

Well, I know he's not going to like this.

"Axel, we can't do this."

He froze. He stopped breathing as well. He then turned his head to the side, closing his eyes as he did so. I was too scared to hear what he was going to say next, but I still paid attention to what he was going to say.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Those words hurt more than the first pair of words he said because when he said that, it sounded a lot like my father. But, why does it have to be this way? I mean, why can't Axel see that I need to focus on my master plan of going back home and being with my brother? Why can't he just get out of the way? Damn it, this guy will be the end of me.

"When someone opens up to you sincerely, you just don't shut them out. I'm trying to help you Roxas!"

"No, you're not." I answered back. "You're just complicating things."

Axel took a step back. "Compli– Complicating things?! I'm the one whose complicating things? How about you?! You're the one throwing punches at me then kissing me when we get the chance!"

"You kissed me!"

"But before?" Axel's words stung. "What was it before?"

I looked away, not wanting to face him as I said my next words.

"It was nothing."

"Nothing?" Axel whispered. He grabbed my chin, and forced me to look into his eyes as he yelled at me more.

"Look at me, and you fucking tell me to my face that it was nothing!"

"It was nothing." I answered not a moment later.

"BULLSHIT!" Axel yelled as he pushed me into the door. "Bullshit and you know it." He pointed his long skinny finger at me. He then began pacing around my room, shaking his head, and grabbing his hair.

"You know what I don't understand?" He began again as he stood a distance away from me. He shook his head and smiled at his thought, then taking a few steps forward. "I don't understand how someone can so easily give up on someone when they know in their heart that they are supposed to be with them."

It took me a moment to say this, but one I said it, it hurt me more than I tried to hurt him.

"I don't belong with you Axel."

Axel took a few more steps forward so he was now in my space. He grabbed my face once more, and pulled me closer to him.

"We'll see about that."

He pushed me out of the way, making his way towards the door. His words lingered in the air as he slammed the door behind him. I stood there, feeling every emotion that he was giving to me. I knew I just made things worse, but I had to. I had to tell myself that Axel wasn't important to me, and that I didn't need him. I didn't need to love him because he would jeopardize any chance I had with going back home. I had to focus on the plan or else I'll be stuck here. But truth is… I love Axel. I want to be with him, and I want us to be happy. But I can't let it happen. I'll keep telling myself that he doesn't love me and that I don't love him, that way I can focus more on this plan.

Yeah I had to stick to the plan, but that didn't mean I couldn't cry about what just happened.

* * *

><p>Later on that night, I was called to go meet Marluxia in his office. I expected that Axel would be there because, well it makes sense. I was a bit shocked that he wasn't there, but I still showed up. I figured that he would have to be there because, well I wanted him there. As I reached to open the door, it had already opened. Out came Axel, calm as ever, and his hair up in a ponytail. We almost touched, but then I stopped, causing an awkward moment in front of him. He never stopped. He just simply looked down at me, expressionless, and pushed forward. Not once did he look back, and that hurt me inside.<p>

Urgh, get it together Roxas. You need to focus now.

I walked into the room and took a seat in front of Marluxia. He was still writing down something, which made me wonder what the fuck I was doing here now. I began twiddling me thumbs, because it looked like I was doing something productive, and hell I needed to look like I was doing something. I need anything to get my focus rather than Marluxia.

I saw him, through the corner of my eye, put his pen behind his ear, and then lean his clipboard to his chest. I heard the faint tapping noises that escaped from the clipboard. Once he realized I wasn't going to be making eye contact, he began to tap his foot. Because I got tired of twiddling my thumbs, I decided to count how many times he tapped his foot. 247 times he tapped his foot, and that whole time span was ridiculously awkward. He didn't talk, I didn't talk. I just sat there counting his taps, like a freak.

Hey, if I'm thought of as a freak, might as well prove them right.

"Okay," Marluxia finally broke the silence. I finally looked up at him, and I saw him stretch out his right hand and look at his watch. "It was been 20 minutes and all you've manage to accomplish is twiddling your thumbs and counting the tiles."

"I wasn't counting the tiles." I correct him. If you're going to prove a point, might as well be right about it.

"Okay Roxas, enough games." He placed his clipboard beneath his chair, and crossed his arms. "You and I need to talk about what's going on in your life."

I leaned back in the chair, and looked towards the mirror/window that was in the room. That's pretty stupid to have because everyone knows that it's see-through, so why still put it? Dumb asses…

"Roxas I need you to focus on what I'm trying to say."

I scoffed, crossing my arms as I did.

Through my peripheral vision, I saw him lean back in his chair and having his arm hang from the side. This caught my attention because he wasn't sitting up right. Teachers are supposed have excellent posture because well they go to school to be these proper butlers or something. So seeing this shocked me because it wasn't correct, and it was bothering me that he wasn't fixing his posture.

"Ah, I got your attention." He taunted. That ass…

"What do you want?" I bluntly asked.

Marluxia fixed his posture, thank god. He leaned forward, and looked at me in a sympathetic way. Ugh, those are the worse kind of looks because there are two ways of looking sympathetic. One look is the absolutely not caring sympathetic look, which means that the person asks you what's wrong just so they can have you talk about your problems but not listen to a word your saying. And then they say some bullshit response like 'Oh things will be better' when obviously there is no chance in hell that it'll ever get better. Then there is the actual sympathetic look, which is meaningful and sincere, and also very annoying. Just the way they treat you like you're this poor helpless person and you can't do anything about nothing because you're so helpless that they want to take you in like some dog you found on the street. Although, sometimes those people look like they could actually help you in some sort of way, which actually makes things easier for you because then you don't have to do this by yourself.

Right now, Marluxia is giving me the look that he actually wants to help me, but I won't let him because he'll just annoy me.

"Roxas, I want help you. I know that I can help you so that you can achieve so many great things, but you got to let me in first."

I smiled because that sounded funny.

"You're gay moves won't work on me. Why don't you save those for Axel?"

I shot up a look at him. I felt my fist clench up, and I was suddenly then forcing myself to remain seated because I knew I would have punched that fucker's face in. Who the fuck does he think he is, making comments towards Axel.

"Look I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just trying to get through to you."

"You think making comments like that is going to get me to open up? Then you're seriously one messed up counselor."

"Roxas, I'm trying to help you. That's all I'm here to do. I'm sorry you took it the wrong way."

I shook my head, smiling. I don't know why I was smiling, but I guess it was just a cover up to hide my anger. I got to say, I'm pretty shocked I held my anger in like that

"Please Roxas, I can help you."

"No you can't." I answered quickly. "No one can."

Marluxia sighed. "Well Roxas, then I guess we'll just have to keep meeting with each other until you open up and let me help you."

I took that as a sign that he was done, so I got up from my chair and left. I felt the stare of many others as I pushed open the door. I didn't know what to think. All I knew was that I was one hot mess, and that I needed to get help. Marluxia can help me, but I won't go to him because I don't trust him. Riku's not any better. His head is so far up my brother's ass that he doesn't have time to hear me bitch about my problems. I needed someone, and I knew it.

Just then I stopped abruptly, because the sight of Axel flirting with a smaller boy was what my sight focused on. Everything stopped around me, and I was focused on him, his arm up against the wall, and his face inching closer towards the other boys face. His bright ass green eyes met my stupid sad blue eyes, and he smiled as he leaned over to the boy, whispering something to make the boy go weak in the knees.

I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand all these emotions and they were piling up by the minute. The emotions of my dad ignoring me as a son, the way my brother doesn't care for me because he found comfort in my best friend, and how Axel hurts my heart everyday by stabbing it with anything he chooses and I just let him because I fucking love the ass so much.

I quickly turned around and walked back to Marluxia's office, hoping to still catch him there. I grabbed the doorknob and I opened the door quickly. He was packing his things when he saw me, and stopped what he was doing. My eyes met his, and I was breathing heavily because I walked fast over here, and I was holding back tears and a shitload of emotions. A minute passed, and then I let everything out.

"Axel and I had a thing but then I couldn't go on with it because he was still flirting around so then when he tried to make things right I backed out because I made a plan to be straight so I can go back home and protect my brother from my homophobic dad because he hates me for being gay so that's why I'm here at this school. But that plan is always getting interrupted by Axel because I love the guy so much that it fucking hurts and it sucks that every time I see him talk to another guy I just know that he is doing it on purpose because he is just trying to piss me off."

Marluxia looked at me wide eyed and opened his mouth to speak, but I took another breath because I wasn't finished.

"And now my best friend Riku likes my brother and my brother likes him so what's the point in going back home and protecting him when he already has someone? So would it make sense that I shouldn't go with this plan that I have about being straight because then that would mean I could make things right with Axel so that we could be together, or should I still go through with because he's my brother?"

Marluxia's mouth was open still and he looked at me blankly. Another minute passed, and he made movement to sit down.

"Well Roxas, I thought you were going to tell me _a problem_, not _your entire life_." Marluxia smiled, and he placed his head in his hand, shaking his head as he did. "You have more fucking problems than any normal teenage girl has."

I rolled my eyes. "Well are you going to help me or not?"

"Yeah of course, sit down."

I gave him a confused look. "We're going to solve them all right now?"

"Oh god no, that would mean that I'm actually doing my job." Marluxia shook his head. "Of course I am! Now sit your ass down."

So I did. I looked at him as he tried to compose himself what to say.

"Okay, let's start with you family issues. You say you're dad is homophobic, yes?" I nodded. "Okay, so that's why you're here? Because you're dad sent you to get 'straightened out'?" I nodded again. "Well, that's not an easy situation, and I can't imagine what happened between you and your dad."

Memories began to pass my mind as I remembered that day I wasn't his son anymore. I tried pushing it away, but the memory kept coming back, and I couldn't help but let my eyes become watery…

"Hey come 'on, none of that." Marluxia handed me a tissue. "I don't want you thinking about your dad and whatever fight you guys got into. Right now I want you to push that aside and let's focus on something else that is less touchy."

I grabbed a tissue, and began to wipe my tears.

"Okay, well you mentioned something about a plan, what were you talking about?"

I sniffed, trying to clear my head. "It's this thing that I thought of once I got here."

Marluxia waved his hand, allowing me to continue.

"I was going to go to the Spring Formal with a girl from Lavender Academy so that way I can prove to my dad that I've changed, and that I could home. All this was for Sora, my younger brother, because he's gay too and I need to protect him so he won't go through what I went through with my dad."

"But, that's not who you are." Marluxia spoke afterwards.

"So? It's my baby brother, and I need to protect him."

"Yeah I get that, but shouldn't your brother decide if he needs your help or not? I mean I get that you're his older brother and you feel entitled to protect him, but what if he doesn't need protection? Maybe he can handle it on his own."

"But he can't!"

"You don't know that, you don't know what he's capable of."

I leaned back in my chair, getting frustrated. I'm starting to regret coming here…

"Now, I think you should talk to your brother, and ask him how he feels about it. It's a brilliant plan to get out of here sure, but you're also lying about who you really are, and that's not fair to your dad, and to yourself."

I scoffed, looking away from Marluxia.

"And wouldn't that also be unfair to Axel?"

I looked towards him, getting chills by the mention of his name.

"Now, pretending to be straight might send mixed signals to Axel, because you love the guy, and he obviously has something for you if he's trying to get your attention, so that would mess up things between you and him if you want things to go further.

"I don't." I spoke.

Marluxia looked at me confused. He smiled and then leaned over his desk.

"Yeah you do."

"No, I don't."

"Roxas, lying to yourself isn't going to get you anywhere. You know that you want to be with him, and you should accept it."

I shook my head. "He isn't good for me! He just messes everything up for me."

"The he obviously isn't good for you."

"But I love him…" I whispered.

Marluxia smiled, and he shook his head. "So right there, is a perfectly example that you shouldn't go through with the plan, because now you're just confused as ever. First, you got to sort of your feelings before you start going around saying something that you're not. I also think that this plan is to get back at Axel for hurting you so bad."

My head shot up. "No, it's not –"

"Oh, but it is. Did you ever bother to think that when Axel shows up with his date and he sees you with a girl, how do you think he's going to feel?"

I tried to ignore his comment, but I felt forced to pay attention because he making a really good point.

I didn't want to think about how Axel would have felt because I thought it wasn't important. But considering how I kind of love the douche bag I can't help but to think that I actually might hurt him unintentionally.

"Now, I think you need to find yourself, and think about what you might do, and how it might have an impact on others."

I sighed, beginning to be annoyed because he wasn't helping me make a decision at all, and right now I just needed to make up my mind.

"As a counselor, I'm telling you that if you go through with this, you are in danger of losing who you are, and hurting others."

I gave him a disgusted look, hoping he got the message that he was no fucking help at all. Now I'm more confused than ever. I made my way to the door, regretting that I came here in the first place. One thing I am sure of is that I am never coming back here for advice.

"But as and older brother who cares for his younger brother,"

His last words caught my attention. Slowly I turned around to face Marluxia, who was leaning back in his chair, and pressing his fingers together while they were spread out. The whole scene looked like it was out from the Godfather, and all he needed was like two bodyguards behind him with loaded machine guns. I stood still as I waited for him to finish his next few words.

"I would do almost anything, and everything necessary to look out for him. I would just be careful not to lose myself as I did so."

I smiled at him, laughing as I realized something. "You know, you're not a very good counselor."

Marluxia shrugged. "That's why I'm a swim coach. Now go, and know that my door is always open. Just not after 8, because that's late."

I shook my head. "Bye Mr. M."

I walked out of the room, knowing for the first time what I needed to do. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I sure as hell knew what needed to be done.

* * *

><p>I didn't bother filling in Riku with all the details. No, because he had another thing on his mind.<p>

"I'm taking Sora out on a date today."

I gave him a look from where I was, which was sitting on the grassy hill just above our dorm hall. We made it a point to just go out and have a chill day, just Riku and I. It was our catch up moment, and I guess for me my "chillax bro" moment. I did need to chill, and oddly enough this helped. However, I didn't have in mind that my "chillax bro" time was filled with facts about my brother. When I heard what Riku had said, I couldn't process anything in my mind…

Well maybe I did know what to say to him.

"Are you fucking insane?"

Riku smiled, letting out a soft laugh. "Yeah, I really am going to go out with him."

I hope he saw the confused look on my face. "Again, are you fucking _insane_?"

Riku shrugged from where he was. It was one of those shrugs where it just simply showed that he didn't care what he seemed like.

"Maybe I am."

"Riku, you can't take him out. That'll put him in danger."

Riku sat up, looking at me like I was the crazy one. "How would he be in danger? It's not like I'm a serial killer or something."

"No, it's not you I'm worried about. It's my dad."

The happiness in Riku's face quickly faded. Memories of my father came to mind quickly and it pushed me the wrong way. I set that aside, and focused on the conversation I was about to have with Riku.

"You told me about your dad… But I never thought you would think he would put Sora in danger. He's his son."

"I'm his son too, or at least I _was_. Look what happened to me."

Riku shook his head. "So, should I not take him out?"

I nodded. "It's too soon."

I don't know if I was telling him this because I sincerely wanted to protect Sora, or I didn't want Riku to get anywhere near my brother. That's not fair to my brother, but there was just something inside of me thinking that I was being selfish for not letting my brother keep his crush with him, but then again, why would I? Riku can be just as an ass than I can be, even worse. So why would he crush on someone like him?

And then I began to wonder.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Riku shrugged as he leaned back onto the grass and rested his head on his arms. I looked at him, for the first time, in disgust. I looked at him as someone my brother had an interest in. This guy… someone who just over about 4 months ago was this major asshole who wore skin tight leather pants, and went around mugging every little person that stepped into his way. This is the same guy, who just not too long ago, attacked me because he was lonely and he hadn't seen my brother in a while. How do I know that he won't do the same to Sora?

"What happened that made you and Sora like each other?"

I saw Riku instantly stiffen. Not in that dirty, please, but in that way where he just got caught.

"What?" he asked, his voice a hint higher than usual.

I now knew that I hit a soft spot. He knew something, and he wasn't telling me. It didn't bother me at first, but now as he was starting get serious with my brother, I knew that I couldn't keep it pushed over to the side. No, someone needed to say something… And that was going to be me.

"You heard what I said; don't decide now to be a dumb blonde now."

"Whoa, for your information my hair is _gray_." He began to be defensive.

"BULLSHIT!" I called on him. "Dude I was there when you dyed it. That big mess on your head is _blonde_."

"SHHH," Riku slapped his hand over my mouth. "You wanna keep your voice down?!"

I struggled to break free from his grip. "Then tell me what happened damn it!"

Riku sighed as he let go of his grip and he lay back down on the grass. He closed his eyes, as if trying to find the words to answer my question. This only made me more upset, because now I know that Riku was embarrassed to tell me whatever it was they did.

"Okay… well it all started one day when I decided to start praying on new freshies. This was way back when I barely reached the top of my reign on the school."

* * *

><p><em>~ Riku's P.O.V ~<em>

* * *

><p>I was walking around the locker rooms, trying to find someone who would so kindly pay for my lunch that day. I had forgotten my wallet at home, so of course I had to ask someone nicely if they could lend me a few dollars. So I asked Pence so politely if I could borrow some cash.<p>

"Yo! Fatty in the corner! Where's my money?!"

Pence turned around, shaking as he was opening his locker.

"W-what money R-riku?"

"Are you talking back to me Shamu?! I asked you a question! Where's my money?"

"I don't h-have anymore. You took my last allowance yesterday."

"Don't get smart with me!"

I lightly tapped his shoulder, but he somehow tripped and got shoved into the locker. I asked him once again, even more polite than I asked before.

"GIVE MY YOUR MONEY OR YOU WON'T SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY, WHALE!"

Pence started whimpering, and he tilted his head to the side, as if I would punch him or something. Weird, right? Anyway, Pence looked terrified, so I helped him up, but very rudely he shoved past me and started running towards the exit. I guess he was in a hurry, so I didn't push for an 'excuse me'. Suddenly, something startled me as I was walking to my locker.

"Who's there?!" I quietly asked. I was a bit scared, and I think it showed in my voice.

I saw nothing, so I continued to walk towards my locker. I tried thinking about something else that would get my mind off the weird sound, but since I get scared most often, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I got to my locker, and quickly twisted my combination. I was a bit freaked, but I kept my cool.

Then I heard the noise again, this time it sounded like a locker slam. I turned to my right, because that is where I heard the noise.

"Who's there?" I didn't want to sound mean, but I was a bit scared. So again, I asked. "You better show yourself I'll come over there and punch your fucking face in!"

Then, from under the shadows, appeared a little boy, someone who I recognized. He was short, but not that short, and he had his P.E. clothes on. He had skinny legs that were shaking out of fear, and a big bush of messy brown hair that was sticking out in different places. But what stood out to me the most were his clear blue eyes, which were like an ocean out in a forbidden island shore.

I sighed. For real, it was a breathless view.

"Hey cutie, where you heading?" I couldn't help myself, really.

He took another step closer, and then looked around slowly. After he realized there was no one there, he pointed to himself.

"Yeah you." I answered him. "What you doing all by your lonesome back here with," I chuckled, because I thought I was bit nervous, and not at all seductive. "Little old me?"

Suddenly, I remembered seeing this boy before. Those big blue eyes are ridiculously familiar.

And then it hit me. This boy is Roxas' brother.

"Hey, you're Roxas' kid brother, aren't you?

The boy nodded, and smiled a bit. Boy, was that a sight to see.

"Uh, Sam is it?"

He shook his head, which was adorable.

"Steven?"

He shook his head again, and this time smiled even bigger.

I kept guessing names. Truth was, I knew his name. I just realized that every time I tried to guess his name, I would get something out of him; a smile, a laugh, a snort, but most importantly, a smile.

I finally walked up to him, and rested my arm on the locker next to him. With my free hand, I raised it to brush off a lock of hair that was in his face. He shivered at my touch, which got me scared, but then he quickly grabbed my hand and held it to his face. He closed his eyes, and he softened to the touch.

"I know what it is…" I whispered.

The boy looked at me, with his breath taking eyes.

"It's Sora, isn't it?"

He nodded, and smiled.

He never said a word, and yet he captured my heart with his silence, as cliché as that sounds.

"I'm not a kid." He finally spoke. "I'm only one year younger than Roxas."

I chuckled. "I bet you are."

"I am!" His voice raised a bit, a stomped his foot.

"Well if you're a big boy, you should be rewarded then, huh?"

Sora looked a bit confused, but then he was a bit surprised when I began to sit down on the bench that was in front of him. He hadn't had the slightest clue as to what I was about to do.

"I'm going to treat you, how big boys should be treated." I finally said to him.

And then I proceeded to make my hands travel from his chest to his waist. I lingered around the waist line of his gym shorts, and I then I slowly pushed them down. This made him shiver, but then I quickly stood up, and touched his face, holding it in my hands. I saw his cheeks blush a bright pink, so I kissed both of them. I looked at him, convinced he wasn't into that sort of thing. I went back down to pick up his shorts, but he placed a hand on my shoulder, looking down at me. He smiled a very convincing smile, and nodded for me to continue whatever it was that I was about to do. I smiled at him, and stood up once more. He looked disappointed, which made me feel bad, but I wanted to do something before I did anything else. I took his chin, and kissed him lightly on the lips. No funny business, just a simply chaste kiss.

I slowly dragged my lips off his, and smiled. I sat back down on the bench, and reached for his underwear. Once again, I lingered on his waistline, feeling the smoothness of his skin. I then slowly pulled them down, and stared up at him. I sighed, and smiled as I began to kiss Sora once again, but not on his lips. This was a totally different area that I would have never seen myself kissing before.

* * *

><p>Shocked as hell, I couldn't find the will power to close my mouth. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I wanted to scream and punch Riku in the balls, then tackle his ass and punch him again for even touching my brother. The thought of him touching my brother and I having not known about it drove me crazy. Here I am, worrying about the mother fucker, thinking that he is sad and depressed without me there with him, but he's in fact getting blow jobs from my best friend! I took a long stare at Riku, and I could feel my tension rising, and I wanted to strangle him, and just beat the hell out of him.<p>

I almost did too. The farthest I got was just yelling at the top of my lungs in my head. Just the thought of my brother getting… I can't even think finish my sentence without thinking it.

"Are you out of your fucking mind? No wonder he has a big time crush on you! You fucking blew him in the locker room!" I pushed him far away from me, and I got up to walk back to my room.

"Roxas!" Riku started calling out to me. "Roxas," he pulled me back. I tried pushing him off again, but he just held on tighter. "Roxas! You need to understand that I was a different person back then!"

"Yeah I understand completely!" I spoke through gritted teeth. "You treated him like any other boy you would fuck in the back of the locker room!" I broke free, and then yelled in his face again. "He's my brother, Riku! How could you?!" I pushed him, and then walked away.

He called once more, but I continued to ignore him. I knew I didn't want to see him for a while, but I also knew that I wanted him as my friend.

"Roxas he's coming to see me today."

I stopped walking. I slowly turned around to face him, with my fist clenched.

To hell with friends, I hated his fucking guts right now.

"YOU FUCKING WHORE! GO DIE FROM AIDS!"

"Hey!"

I turned around only to find Axel right behind me, his hands in the pockets of his coat.

"You're making a scene, so shut the fuck up and go to your room."

I looked over at Riku, who was walking over to us. He seemed a bit hurt, but he does doesn't even have a clue about how I feel. And then Axel showing up?! Oh, that was the icing on the cake. The guy doesn't know when to leave a guy the fuck alone.

"Roxas, come'on." Axel reached out for my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

"Can't you take no for an answer?" I snapped. "Stop trying to pursue me! Go off to one of your little boyfriends that you go a fuck around–"

And then it hit me so fast I didn't even know what I was saying. I didn't even realize that I was punched right in the jaw and I fell down. My whole face felt swelled up, and I could feel Axel going on top of me getting ready to throw in more punches. As if I wasn't bad enough. Through my blurry vision, I saw Riku grab a hold of Axel's shoulders, and Axel still trying to throw in a few more punches. His foot happened to kick my face really hard, and that was when my blurred vision became black.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, I was back in my bedroom, staring at my boring beige ceiling in my room. . I rubbed my eyes, but then quickly stopped as I realized that it hurt. I moaned in pain, trying to process everything that I could remember. Then instantly I remembered that I was talking to Riku about my brother, and everything.<p>

Damn him, but he is still my best friend so I have to go talk to him.

I got up from my bed and made my way to the door, when all of a sudden a hard grip was on my shoulder and it pulled me down. I gasped a bit, but it hurt to breathe. I felt my chest being poked by a bunch of needles stuck in my ribs. I was pushed back down onto the bed, and then held down. I tried breaking free from the tight grip, but every inch in my body was burning, and the grip that they had on my shoulders were on fire. I tried to yell, but my mouth was covered, which freaked me out even more. I tried moving free, but that was no use. A dark figure hovered over me, and gently whispered into my ear;

_You move like a worm, digging into its own grave…_

This freaked me the fuck out. I didn't know who had its grip on me, but all I know is by the tone of the voice, it wasn't human.

_If you continue to act this way, the fiery gates of hell opens its doors to you, with welcome arms of the deceased who are just like YOU._

Its voice growled at me, it snarled like how a reptile would growl at you when you tried to touch it. I started to cry, because I was scared out of my fucking mind.

_Your tears bring no sympathy towards me. All I see is a human, striving to be someone they are not. We have a place for you, where I come from. _

The figure made me look to the side, and there I saw a dungeon, with thorns surrounding the inside, and on the outside. It was dark, but in big letters you can see my name spelled out on a plaque with red paint, each letter dripping with the paint.

I started to freak out even more, and I just began to wail, like dolphin or something. I didn't know what overcame me, but all I knew is that I was fucking crazy. I know I've gone metal or something because people, do not have dreams like that. They just don't. I took that as a sign, because I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe that having that dream woke me up from my reality of being a bad person. I believe that whoever it was that visited my room that night could have been the reasoning of my dad. Maybe it was time that I actually stop dicking around here, and try to become a normal teenage boy.

I got up from my bed, and walked straight to the mirror. I slowly examined my body, and my face. I had bruises from the past week of getting into fights and hurting others. Just by looking into this mirror, I realized that I needed to change. I know I've said this before, but I'm realizing how serious it is to change; how much I want to change. Not just because of my dad, fuck my dad I'm done with him, but for me. I don't want to be this type of person who is full of anger and sadness. I already know where that road goes, and I have the bruises on my body to prove it.

I needed to change. Period. I'm not going through that stupid plan of mine because I finally realize I like myself the way I am. And I want to try and fix this problem I have, and all the other problems I've caused.

Starting with Axel.

If I'm going to start fresh with something, it has got to be with him first. Pushing all the feelings of pushing Axel away, I now want to bring them back, because in some philosophical way or some bullshit like that, he can get me through to my change.

I ran to my door and opened it, running down the hall to go talk to Axel. My feelings for him grew stronger and stronger with each step that I took. All the feelings that I pushed away from him were starting to come back with vengeance. And from all of that, I managed to make a smile on my face, because I was so damn happy.

Axel's door was a tiny bit opened, but I raised my hand up to knock on it anyways. The smile I had on my face quickly faded once I heard another person's voice in Axel's room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Ax? Going around causing trouble, making a scene over some _guy_!" the voice sounded lower than Axel's, and scarier to face. "Do you know how much Mom and Dad had to sacrifice for you to be here? Do you know how much I had to sacrifice?!"

Once I heard the words 'Mom and Dad' I felt a bit of relief. I never heard Axel mentioning he had a brother.

"Lea, please, I don't need this right now." Axel finally spoke.

There was a bit of a pause, and it frightened me every single moment I had to wait for the next response.

"You like him." Lea spoke in disgust. "Oh no. You _love_ him."

He then chuckled a little bit, which sounded even scarier than his voice alone. All of a sudden something was thrown, and it broke something in return.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!" Lea's voice rose higher that the whole dorm heard.

I looked around and saw that head were peeping out of their doors. Their eyes looked at me, and I could instantly feel the judgment from everybody. Then, someone called me over to meet them. It was Zexion, who was also peeping out to see what the commotion was about.

I walked over to him and he opened the door a little bit more so he could see me.

"What are you doing? You should be asleep, resting." His accented voice assured me.

I ignored his question and asked one of my own. "Who is Lea?"

Zexion sighed and looked a little bit impatient. It seemed like he should close his door because something was going to be thrown at him.

"He's Axel's older brother. Word is Axel did something horrible to some boy back at his old school, and it resulted in someone being killed."

Zexion's words brought shivers down my spine. It couldn't possibly true, I tried to tell myself. Why would Axel try and do something like that.

"His big brother Lea is a big time movie producer, and he paid the school millions of dollars for Axel to be enrolled at Oxford."

"THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DO, ASSHOLE!" Lea's voice was heard again.

Suddenly all the doors were shut silently, and movement was heard from Axel's room. Zexion had pushed me out into the hallway so he could close his door. I was left there, in the middle of the hallway, probably going to be murdered.

Then Axel's door swung open, and it hit the wall with a big bang. Out came this tall maroon red headed man, with a bit of scruff on his face. His eyes were a darker green than Axel's, and he was also much, much taller than Axel. The only thing you could notice though was the scar on his right side that made him look fearsome.

It was basically Axel, but on a shitload of steroids.

Lea made eye contact with me, his eyes filled with rage and evilness. He made eye contact with me within a second. It was like he sensed my presence and I was the meal for the night. Every feeling that I had in my body was taken and thrown against the wall. I stood there, numb and dumb.

Lea took a few steps forward and faced me. He looked down on me, like I was trash. I did kind of felt like fucking trash at the moment.

"So, you're the new kid huh?" was all he said in a slow, steady voice. "You're the one who has been fucking around with Axel."

"I-" I was stupid enough to even breathe at this moment.

His eyes grew big, and his lips turned into a line. He then leaned over so that he was inches away from my face. I felt his breath on my face, and I could almost say it was like a wild bear breathing on your face.

"How _dare_ you even speak while I'm trying to talk."

I swallowed, and that seemed to upset him more.

"I don't know what he sees in you. God knows I will never understand." He then took a look at the bruises on my chest, and on my face.

"You think you're tough kid?"

I quivered just a bit. Not so much though; I didn't want him thinking I was being bullied. I still wanted to maintain my ground, so I decided to look right back into his eyes, and I even looked at his scar that was plastered on his face.

"Wait till you get through me. Then we'll see how tough you are."

"Leave him alone Lea."

We both looked at Axel, who was standing at his doorway. Lea stood up straight, and then laughed. God, his laugh was scary enough to be something out a Batman movie.

"Go back to bed Ax, nothing to worry about here. Just having a nice," he instantly grabbed my shoulder and clenched it hard enough that I felt a few cracks. "little chit chat with your friend here."

I wanted to scream in pain, but I knew that wouldn't help the situation. I just bit my lips together and closed my eyes. I sucked it up and looked straight at Axel with watery eyes.

"Go Lea. Leave." Axel's strong voice was nothing compared to Lea's voice of mass destruction.

Lea smiled at Axel, clenching my shoulder as he did. A moment later he leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"_I'll deal with you soon."_

He then threw me towards Axel, who caught me in his arms, and walked away.

I finally breathed again, something I had forgotten to do while Lea was making my death sentence. Axel helped me back up, and he walked me into his room. I wobbled over to his bed and just collapsed. Shit, everything was happening to me this week. I got the shit beat out of me because I was the way I was. No, I was wrong. I got the shit beat out of me because I was such an ass to everyone else.

Axel went over to get the first aid or something. I looked at him with admiration, because he had an older brother who was scary as fuck, and he didn't turn out to be a shallow person. Axel was a person who cared. He had a funny way of showing it, but I finally understood that he cared. My eyes began water, as I realized that I now knew;

"I'm sorry."

Axel quickly turned my way, the expression on his face shocked.

"What?" Axel spoke softly.

It was getting hard to breathe, but I managed to speak the rest of what I wanted to say.

"I'm a dick."

Axel smiled as he walked over to me. "That's an understatement."

I managed a small chuckled, but the pain began to become unbearable.

"Axel I love you. I don't want to push you away anymore, I want you with me."

Axel lifted my head up and placed it on his lap.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

I sighed. "I stood up to your brother, didn't I?"

Axel laughed. "Yeah that was pretty bad ass."

I laughed a little, but then I quivered as my ribs were hurting so much.

"Hey Roxas are you okay? You sound like you're taking your last breath."

I gave a weak smile because I couldn't manage a full smile, even though I really wanted to.

"That's because I am."

I let out one last breath and I felt the whole room become dark. I saw Axel yelling at me to stay awake, and I did manage a few times, but I couldn't hold onto it any longer. All I know is that I left letting Axel know what I felt about him. I wanted to talk to my mom and Sora for the last time, but this was the best I could do. I guess something's need to come to an end.

_Now you are where you truly belong…_

* * *

><p><strong>UHM. <strong>

**I'mSorry.**

**I follow my gut when I write and this is what I felt the ending should be. BUT, I will be able to tell you this, that the next chapter will include everybody :)**

**AND I MEAN EVERYBODY._.**

**Well, I'm working on Ch.5, and estimating on how long I take to update chapters, I give it until late August, maybe the first few weeks of September until the next chapter. **

**So until then, feel free to tell your KH friends about my story and write reviews :) I do have to say that everytime I need some confidence boost, I read your reviews and I instantly get inspires ^^ Yeah it sounds cliche but its true . **

**So thanks for reading! :D**


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